About Me

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I'm Christy. Christian first, wife to a Retired Soldier, mom to 7, our oldest is with the Lord after he called her home against a battle against AML leukemia. I am a Homeschooling/SAHM/Housewife. The biggest blessing in my life is serving The Lord, Jesus Christ. I am a sinner, fail often, but am forgiven.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Prayers for big changes or not

My husband and I have a big decision to make. He was given the opportunity to have his name put in for a year long job, that will take him to Alaska, his dream. There are obviously multiple pro's and cons. The biggest cons are that he'd be away from us for a year and that next school year is our oldest sons Senior year, so he'd miss out on that time. Everything would be on me, everything. It'd be like a deployment in many manners, except for the fact that he'd still be in the United States, wouldn't have anyone shooting at him, and we'd get to talk to him daily, just have to adjust to the time difference.

The pro's are we'd have our house paid off by the time he came home, because he'd be making over double what he makes now and we'd use that paycheck and pay off the house. I wouldn't need to use the full paycheck, just 98% of it for the house payment (to get it paid off in the year) so we could build our savings account, which would be great. I'd be able to afford to buy us a used 12 or 15 passenger van, that would be so helpful for our family.

Please join me in praying for discernment as we go to the Lord and seek his will for us in this decision. We want to be obedient and truly hear Him.
I don't want to say no, if the Lord has placed this opportunity in front of us. I also don't want to say yes, because I see it as a way to pay off a major thing (our house).
I know it will be hard on our children if he goes, and honestly I worry the most about my teenagers, especially our oldest, knowing our time is so very limited with him.

I know the Lord often places hard decisions in front of us, so we will seek Him more, depend on Him and not on ourselves.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

It matters

How we speak to others matters. I am so guilty of using ugly tones with my kids, my husband, and at times other people. I know I have had ugly tones towards me, and it hurts me, it's embarrassing, and breaks a piece of my heart, especially when it comes from someone I love and loves me.
Through that pain, conviction sets in hopefully for both. Today my husband spoke harshly to me after church, in front of a few others after I asked him a questions for the 2nd time. I didn't think he had heard me the first time, so I asked him again.

He's apologized, and I believe he was sincere, but my pride has not allowed me to speak the words, "I forgive you" and I know I must and must immediately. We had a guest Preacher today and one thing he talked about was forgiveness. The thing is, forgiveness is such a precious gift. God forgives us, through the Cross. We are called to forgive others who trespass against us, and it's not just for them, sometimes it's not for them at all, it's for us. When we don't forgive, we let the anger, the hurt, the sadness take over our heart. We allow a temporary feeling take over and become more and more permanent.I don't know about you, but I do not want to be held captive to feelings of anger, hurt, sadness, etc.

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!" Psalm 133:1

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Probvers 15:1

God's word is full of wisdom and conviction, how blessed are we to have such a wise and good Father.

I'm off to give forgiveness and ask for it, for my pride.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Sixteen years ago

I remember this night so very clearly. I was still grieving so deeply over the death our beautiful Jordyn, but here I was about to give birth in a few short hours to our 2nd child, our first son, Jacob. Jacob was going to be born on my Great Grandma C's birthday. She had 81 Grandchildren (Great, and Great-Great included in that number and Jacob was a Great-Great), she'd waiting 91 years to have a grandchild born on her birthday!
I was up packing, and repacking my hospital bag. Watching tv, playing online, talking to my best friend, pacing the floor, rocking in my chair, and praying. I was filled with nerves. I was absolutely terrified I would not be able to love this new baby the way I wanted and the way he deserved.
Morning came quickly, I think I may have gotten about 2 hours of sleep, maybe. We were up and out the door around 5:30, ready to get my IV put in, and prepped for my C-section, and welcome this little man into the world.
My fears of being able to love him well disappeared the moment I heard his cries that he'd entered this world. I was in love instantly. Chad and I held him and once I was out of recovery and back to my room, we were greeted by my parents, my Great Aunts and Uncles, and my Great Grandma, who was meeting her Birthday boy, the greatest gift and answer to prayers for my sweet Grandma. She was the first to hold him after Chad and I, and she was instantly in love with him.

Jacob healed my heart in so many ways. I had no idea what the Lord was doing when I found out I was pregnant with Jacob, I was determined that I would not be able to love another child after the death of Jordyn. My heart ached beyond measure. Grief did not stop when Jacob was born, but it softened. I praise Jesus for the gift of Jacob. I praise God that for the last 16 years, he's showed me how to love deeply, laugh fully, cry with my soul, and live completely.

Isaiah 40:11 (ESV)
"He tend his flock like a shepherd;
he will gather the lambs in his arms;
he will carry them in his bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young. "

Happy Birthday, Jacob. I can't believe you're 16 years old, but I am so grateful for every single day of the last 16 years. You are a blessing to me and I love you so much.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Trusting God

Trusting God's plan for our lives is not always easy, not always natural, yet it's what we are called to do. No matter where we are in life, we are always called to follow the Lord.

I was driving home last night from bible study thinking about my oldest son. He's 15, a Sophomore, and it hit me.like a brick that we have only 3 more Thanksgivings and Christmas's left with him being home. I know he may come home after he graduates, but it will be in a different circumstance. I think of how when my husband and I got married, we spent our first Christmas as a married couple up with his family in Ohio, but we have never spent it with them since, and this is our 19th Christmas as a married couple. We were with them until 2 days before Christmas 13 years ago, but my uncle passed away and so we drive home to Kansas for his funeral and spent Christmas with my side of the family. I realize that could be out lot when our kids grow up. I pray we have a different relationship and that our kids will want to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with us, and when they get married, I hope we can get every other year at least or I'd they marry local girls, part of the day, but the fact is they will have to decide that. I have to trust God that we are raising our kids to value us as their parents and siblings. I can't be living in dread, fear, or sadness.
So from here on out I am trusting the Lord with my kids, our time we have, our health, all of it. He wants what's best for us, even if we don't always see that it's best for us, immediately.
I am so grateful that we serve a God who loves us, who desires the best for us, and most of all who brings all we walk through in this life back to His Glory.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016


What happens when your heart aches, you learn all the things you believe about yourself others believe as well, and you just can't do it anymore? You try to run, but don't make it far. You cry out to Jesus, and hear silence.
Sure there are a few who reach out, but there are no words you can give them to make them feel better about your situation.
I am at a crossroads right now. I am reading my bible, doing my bible study, I see truths from God, but have no idea how to apply them to my life.
Reality is no one really cares, sure they say they do, but when it comes down to it, you are alone trying to figure things out.
I long to feel true love. I long for closeness with God. I am a hypocrite. I lead a bible study, I am doing the work, but struggle to see how God can work this for His glory and pull me out of the depths of sadness I am in.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Families Come in All Shapes and Sizes

Today a friend of mine shared a fantastic article about people making rude comments on her all boy family, but getting encouragement from an older sweet lady who also had all boys and how much they took care of her now. It got my brain going of how free people feel to make snide comments about families. You get the comments about how wild all boys are and "don't you wish you had a girl" or "aren't you going to try for a girl?". Then there are the all girl families and the snide comments they get, "oh wait until they're teenagers." "Doesn't your husband want a son to carry on his name?" Then there's the family that has one child, and people think it's their right to inquire "why" "don't you know he/she is going to be spoiled and not know how to play with other kids?" Then there are those of us with larger families (ultimately 4 or more children) and we get the "don't you  know how that happens" or "do you not own a tv"? Really, I mean lets dig in here a little bit.
That family of all boys or all girls, I have friends with both those and they feel so blessed with their only gender family. It seems that the all boys, my friends just love their boys and can't even imagine having a girl, because they have so much fun with their boys. They feel like God created them to be a boy mom. The families who have all girls, just adore their girls, and can't imagine adding a boy into the mix of their girls. God blessed these families with the children they have. Maybe they do desire a girl or a boy to add into the mix, but here's a newsflash, it's no one's business and I've yet to meet any family with all one gender, who do not feel so blessed with their children.
That family with one child, I've had many friends who have a miracle baby and are so thankful and blessed to have their child. Many of them would love to have another, but they trust God and know that he's blessed them beyond measure with their child. IF they do have fertility issues, do you think your snide comments on their one and only is helping? Making suggestions of adoption, fertility treatments, etc do not help them and you do not know their convictions or where the Lord is leading their family. They may also feel simply put that their family is COMPLETE with their one child.
Those of us who have many children, yes we know how that happens, don't you? Yes we have a tv, last I checked, tv is not the end all of "entertainment", but hey if that's all you want in your life, that's your choice. All of my children are a blessing and I praise GOD for every one of them. We've had surprises and planned and they are were equally wanted and are so loved. We don't ask your permission, we do not invite you into our bedroom, so how about you stay out.
Honestly, I'm amazed at how rude people are when it comes to children and family sizes. Children are a blessing from God. IF God blesses a family with all boys, all girls, one child, or multiple....they are a blessing. Sadly our society views children as a burden. We live in such a selfish society that we see children holding "us" back from the newest gadgets, great vacations, new cars, bigger houses. Let me tell you what, you can't take any of those THINGS with you when you die. God does not bless selfishness.
I see hurt from friends and family who have had rude remarks made to them. Truly it's enough. It's enough making comments on the gender of peoples children, sizes of their families. How about instead of making a comment that could cause hurt, you compliment them.
"You must have so much fun with your boys, I bet they keep you hopping and laughing, boys always seem to love to make their mommas life interesting".
"Your girls are beautiful, I can imagine it's wonderful to see them growing up to young women."or "I bet it's so much fun to watch your little girls growing up, giggling together, dressing up. You are blessed."
To the family with one, "How blessed you are, to be able to devote your time to your son or daughter, I bet you have a beautiful relationship, and he/she brings you so much joy."
To the family of many, "What a beautiful family. I bet you all have so much fun. I'm sure you're busy, but I have no doubt you wouldn't want it any other way."

Just simple, but kind things is all it takes. Families no matter size or gender, are blessings from God.
We should never feel we have to defend our children from rude comments towards them.
I don't WANT to understand those who make the comments. I just would love to see it stop. I'd love for my friends and my own family to just feel loved from others and if they're not, to have no idea what is going through those peoples brains.

I'm stepping down from my soap box now.

Friday, July 31, 2015

In A Moment

In a moment my cousin went from a healthy 26 year old young man to one who's now fighting for his life. A few years ago, he made poor choices that landed him in prison. He served his time and when he was released, decided to change his life. He was no longer in the gangs, no longer making the poor choices that landed him in prison. He got a job, worked overtime every time it was offered, he was living with his mom, and helping her with bills, helping with the upkeep of her house, painting the house. When my dad was working on her house, he was there asking how to help, and doing everything my dad asked of him.
He was healthy, fit, and seemed to be working towards making a better life for himself and his girlfriend. Tuesday as he was on the phone with his brother and his girlfriend was in the same room as he was in, he had a massive heart attack.
My heart is heavy for T and for his mom/my aunt, who has already buried one child (her little girl died from SIDS over 17 years ago). Please keep them in your prayers as we wait to find out if he's going to pull out of this. I do not know if he's a believer and that is what is grieving my heart the most, because without having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, he will not be in Heaven. I pray he will be. Please keep my Aunt S in your prayers and T. His girlfriend, C, and his 2 younger brothers, B & S.