Lonely

What happens when your heart aches, you learn all the things you believe about yourself others believe as well, and you just can't do it anymore? You try to run, but don't make it far. You cry out to Jesus, and hear silence.
Sure there are a few who reach out, but there are no words you can give them to make them feel better about your situation.
I am at a crossroads right now. I am reading my bible, doing my bible study, I see truths from God, but have no idea how to apply them to my life.
Reality is no one really cares, sure they say they do, but when it comes down to it, you are alone trying to figure things out.
I long to feel true love. I long for closeness with God. I am a hypocrite. I lead a bible study, I am doing the work, but struggle to see how God can work this for His glory and pull me out of the depths of sadness I am in.