About Me

My photo
I'm Christy. Christian first, wife to a Retired Soldier, mom to 7, our oldest is with the Lord after he called her home against a battle against AML leukemia. I am a Homeschooling/SAHM/Housewife. The biggest blessing in my life is serving The Lord, Jesus Christ. I am a sinner, fail often, but am forgiven.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Families Come in All Shapes and Sizes

Today a friend of mine shared a fantastic article about people making rude comments on her all boy family, but getting encouragement from an older sweet lady who also had all boys and how much they took care of her now. It got my brain going of how free people feel to make snide comments about families. You get the comments about how wild all boys are and "don't you wish you had a girl" or "aren't you going to try for a girl?". Then there are the all girl families and the snide comments they get, "oh wait until they're teenagers." "Doesn't your husband want a son to carry on his name?" Then there's the family that has one child, and people think it's their right to inquire "why" "don't you know he/she is going to be spoiled and not know how to play with other kids?" Then there are those of us with larger families (ultimately 4 or more children) and we get the "don't you  know how that happens" or "do you not own a tv"? Really, I mean lets dig in here a little bit.
That family of all boys or all girls, I have friends with both those and they feel so blessed with their only gender family. It seems that the all boys, my friends just love their boys and can't even imagine having a girl, because they have so much fun with their boys. They feel like God created them to be a boy mom. The families who have all girls, just adore their girls, and can't imagine adding a boy into the mix of their girls. God blessed these families with the children they have. Maybe they do desire a girl or a boy to add into the mix, but here's a newsflash, it's no one's business and I've yet to meet any family with all one gender, who do not feel so blessed with their children.
That family with one child, I've had many friends who have a miracle baby and are so thankful and blessed to have their child. Many of them would love to have another, but they trust God and know that he's blessed them beyond measure with their child. IF they do have fertility issues, do you think your snide comments on their one and only is helping? Making suggestions of adoption, fertility treatments, etc do not help them and you do not know their convictions or where the Lord is leading their family. They may also feel simply put that their family is COMPLETE with their one child.
Those of us who have many children, yes we know how that happens, don't you? Yes we have a tv, last I checked, tv is not the end all of "entertainment", but hey if that's all you want in your life, that's your choice. All of my children are a blessing and I praise GOD for every one of them. We've had surprises and planned and they are were equally wanted and are so loved. We don't ask your permission, we do not invite you into our bedroom, so how about you stay out.
Honestly, I'm amazed at how rude people are when it comes to children and family sizes. Children are a blessing from God. IF God blesses a family with all boys, all girls, one child, or multiple....they are a blessing. Sadly our society views children as a burden. We live in such a selfish society that we see children holding "us" back from the newest gadgets, great vacations, new cars, bigger houses. Let me tell you what, you can't take any of those THINGS with you when you die. God does not bless selfishness.
I see hurt from friends and family who have had rude remarks made to them. Truly it's enough. It's enough making comments on the gender of peoples children, sizes of their families. How about instead of making a comment that could cause hurt, you compliment them.
"You must have so much fun with your boys, I bet they keep you hopping and laughing, boys always seem to love to make their mommas life interesting".
"Your girls are beautiful, I can imagine it's wonderful to see them growing up to young women."or "I bet it's so much fun to watch your little girls growing up, giggling together, dressing up. You are blessed."
To the family with one, "How blessed you are, to be able to devote your time to your son or daughter, I bet you have a beautiful relationship, and he/she brings you so much joy."
To the family of many, "What a beautiful family. I bet you all have so much fun. I'm sure you're busy, but I have no doubt you wouldn't want it any other way."

Just simple, but kind things is all it takes. Families no matter size or gender, are blessings from God.
We should never feel we have to defend our children from rude comments towards them.
I don't WANT to understand those who make the comments. I just would love to see it stop. I'd love for my friends and my own family to just feel loved from others and if they're not, to have no idea what is going through those peoples brains.

I'm stepping down from my soap box now.