About Me

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I'm Christy. Christian first, wife to a Retired Soldier, mom to 7, our oldest is with the Lord after he called her home against a battle against AML leukemia. I am a Homeschooling/SAHM/Housewife. The biggest blessing in my life is serving The Lord, Jesus Christ. I am a sinner, fail often, but am forgiven.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

It matters

How we speak to others matters. I am so guilty of using ugly tones with my kids, my husband, and at times other people. I know I have had ugly tones towards me, and it hurts me, it's embarrassing, and breaks a piece of my heart, especially when it comes from someone I love and loves me.
Through that pain, conviction sets in hopefully for both. Today my husband spoke harshly to me after church, in front of a few others after I asked him a questions for the 2nd time. I didn't think he had heard me the first time, so I asked him again.

He's apologized, and I believe he was sincere, but my pride has not allowed me to speak the words, "I forgive you" and I know I must and must immediately. We had a guest Preacher today and one thing he talked about was forgiveness. The thing is, forgiveness is such a precious gift. God forgives us, through the Cross. We are called to forgive others who trespass against us, and it's not just for them, sometimes it's not for them at all, it's for us. When we don't forgive, we let the anger, the hurt, the sadness take over our heart. We allow a temporary feeling take over and become more and more permanent.I don't know about you, but I do not want to be held captive to feelings of anger, hurt, sadness, etc.

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!" Psalm 133:1

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Probvers 15:1

God's word is full of wisdom and conviction, how blessed are we to have such a wise and good Father.

I'm off to give forgiveness and ask for it, for my pride.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Sixteen years ago

I remember this night so very clearly. I was still grieving so deeply over the death our beautiful Jordyn, but here I was about to give birth in a few short hours to our 2nd child, our first son, Jacob. Jacob was going to be born on my Great Grandma C's birthday. She had 81 Grandchildren (Great, and Great-Great included in that number and Jacob was a Great-Great), she'd waiting 91 years to have a grandchild born on her birthday!
I was up packing, and repacking my hospital bag. Watching tv, playing online, talking to my best friend, pacing the floor, rocking in my chair, and praying. I was filled with nerves. I was absolutely terrified I would not be able to love this new baby the way I wanted and the way he deserved.
Morning came quickly, I think I may have gotten about 2 hours of sleep, maybe. We were up and out the door around 5:30, ready to get my IV put in, and prepped for my C-section, and welcome this little man into the world.
My fears of being able to love him well disappeared the moment I heard his cries that he'd entered this world. I was in love instantly. Chad and I held him and once I was out of recovery and back to my room, we were greeted by my parents, my Great Aunts and Uncles, and my Great Grandma, who was meeting her Birthday boy, the greatest gift and answer to prayers for my sweet Grandma. She was the first to hold him after Chad and I, and she was instantly in love with him.

Jacob healed my heart in so many ways. I had no idea what the Lord was doing when I found out I was pregnant with Jacob, I was determined that I would not be able to love another child after the death of Jordyn. My heart ached beyond measure. Grief did not stop when Jacob was born, but it softened. I praise Jesus for the gift of Jacob. I praise God that for the last 16 years, he's showed me how to love deeply, laugh fully, cry with my soul, and live completely.

Isaiah 40:11 (ESV)
"He tend his flock like a shepherd;
he will gather the lambs in his arms;
he will carry them in his bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young. "

Happy Birthday, Jacob. I can't believe you're 16 years old, but I am so grateful for every single day of the last 16 years. You are a blessing to me and I love you so much.