About Me

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I'm Christy. Christian first, wife to a Retired Soldier, mom to 7, our oldest is with the Lord after he called her home against a battle against AML leukemia. I am a Homeschooling/SAHM/Housewife. The biggest blessing in my life is serving The Lord, Jesus Christ. I am a sinner, fail often, but am forgiven.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Almost to my next goal!!!

I saw my doctor today and stepped on the scale and was thrilled! I lost another 3 lbs since last Thursday! I'm now at a 28 lb loss in exactly 4 weeks since my surgery! This was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life! Accepting Jesus as my Savior being the BEST, marrying Chad, having my children, and then having the Gastric Sleeve Surgery! I am truly so thankful and amazed at what I've accomplished in only 4 short weeks!
I know that by next week I'll reach 30 lbs weight loss! I am beyond thrilled! I want to jump for joy!!

I was given permission to start working out on the elliptical and doing light weight lifting and swimming laps! I am so excited, because I know doing those 3 things will help to get even more weight off, will help boost my energy levels even more, and be that much more encouraging to me!

I look to the Lord and know that he's my biggest fan. He loves me more than anyone and I know he wants what is best for me. I lean on him and his understanding and know that with him, I can do anything!! I'm so thankful for family and friends who are supporting me, encouraging me, cheering me on, and sincerely excited for me with each step I take!

I will not stop,even once I meet my goal weight and size, I will continue this journey, because it's a life change. Working out and eating right is what I have to do and there is no going back.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Week 2 picture

Had a great day. We celebrated NJ's 4th birthday with friends and family. He had so much fun. Daddy got to spend the evening sorting through 4 new Halo Lego sets (big and small ones) that he and his buddies opened and then dumped on the living room floor, in a big pile! Daddy got 3 of them done and has 1 left to do tomorrow!

This morning before church, I decided to go through some clothes a friend who had gastric bypass a year and a half ago gave me this past winter, to see if anything she gave me would fit. I pulled out a dress and it was 2 dress sizes smaller than what I have been wearing and it fit!!!!! I couldn't believe it and was so excited!

I had the husband take a couple pictures of me tonight in the dress and for my very late 2 week photo!

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Hard Day

It's been such a hard day. My family's eating spaghetti and I want to eat some so bad. I'd love just a bite, yet know I can't. I just want some food to eat. My husband doesn't understand and doesn't seem to want to understand. I am scared that on Tuesday the scale's not going to show a lower number.
I've had a few people ask me what my starting weight was and honestly I'm just too ashamed to share it. Maybe one day I will be able to let it go. I'm not sure if it's pride, but it feels a lot like shame.

I have found myself going through all sorts of emotions today. I've shed a lot of tears. I'm just so emotional and it's hard when I feel like I'm in a house without the support that I need and just some understanding.

I'm going to go head out for a nice long walk here in a few minutes, try to clear my brain, get my endorphins up. Just pray for me as I deal with all this. I knew this would come, doesn't make it any easier though.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Day 15: Weigh in

I saw my doctor today, he's really happy with my progress and said my weight loss was right on track. I will admit I'm still a bit disappointed, especially after last weeks 19 lb loss. I lost 4 lbs, so a total of 23 lbs lost in 2 weeks. I have an appointment in the nutrition center on Tuesday, which is 3 weeks since my surgery and I'd love to see another 6 lbs off. I don't know if I'll reach that goal, but I hope so.  Dr. C told me that I can increase either my distance or intensity. I plan to do both. He also said that on Tuesday that my nutrionist will tell me when I can move to phase 3 as far as food intake goes.
Dr. C said he can tell with my stomach that I've lost a good amount, which was encouraging. So I will keep going. I will get a picture taken tomorrow and post it tomorrow night or Saturday.
Well, I'm now off to mop my kitchen and both of the upstairs bathrooms. I know you're all jealous and wish you could have such an exciting life!! :)

Day 14

Tomorrow morning I have my 2nd appointment with my doctor/surgeon. I am very excited and nervous to get on the scale. EG my 6 year old told me that my stomach looks a lot smaller, I can see it, yet it's hard to wrap my brain around that it really IS getting smaller. I'm walking more. Normally I wait for Chad, but today knowing we had a busy evening, I just went on a 2 mile walk and not only was it a great walk, cleared my mind, and honestly it was easy. I will be slowly challenging myself. I am hoping that I can get a Fit bit. It'll be exciting and I think very encouraging to see how many steps, how many miles, etc that I've done, how I'm sleeping, etc.

Tonight our 2nd son, "JT" is playing baseball and had a scrimmage tonight. His team won. I love a scrimmage, before the actual season starts, it helps the coach see their strengths, weaknesses. The kids worked well together, their coach coached! He didn't scream at them, but told them how to fix things and patted their backs on the good. It was nice to see. We're going to be working with JT on things we saw he needs to work on, so hopefully between what we do with him and what he does in practice will get him to a better place. Tomorrow we're starting! When I go for my walk, he's going to join me and he's going to do sprints every other block, to help with his speed.  I'm hoping on Saturday we can go to the baseball fields and practice throwing, catching, and hitting. I know that working with him, will not only benefit him, it'll be good for me as well.

Our new family member, our kitten, Schatze is so sweet. Yesterday she spent a great deal of her day hissing at us and of course just being scared. Her whole little life has been turned upside down. Taken away from her momma, her siblings, her home that she knew. Today, she's been running all over the house, cuddling with the kids willingly, enjoying being outside, doing great eating and using the litter box without any issues and no accidents. That's one of the best things with cats, they house train so easily. What cracks all of us up the most is that our older cat, Whiskers is normally not a fan of other cats, or other animals in general. Yesterday, when Schatze and Whiskers met, Schatze hissed and batted at Whiskers. Whiskers has sniffed at her, but has no growled or done anything aggressive. I honestly don't think she knows what to think or do with Schatze. Today they seemed to get along for the most part. Schatze still hissed at her, but no batting at her and her hissing wasn't as loud or long! I really do hope they will to at least mutually like each other, if not love each other. What I do know is that Schatze seems to love me. When she comes to me, she wants to be comforted and normally falls asleep very quickly. She's such a sweet baby!

Time to try to get to sleep and so I can get a good nights sleep.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Day 13

Today was a good day. I put on a pair of jeans that the last time I wore before my surgery, I couldn't zip up and button and when I could even do that, they were so tight, it was painful. Today, not only did they go on easily, they were really comfortable, and actually slightly big. My guess is that I may be able to wear them for another week or two and then they're just not going to be able to stay up. I don't know if many can understand how exciting it is to think that shortly I'll be wearing smaller sizes, sizes that I have not fit into in years!!!

I go back to see my doctor on Thursday and will be weighed once again and see how much the scale has moved. I do not have a scale here at home, so I have no idea what it's going to say. I have to admit that I'm terrified it won't be at all, since I'm able to eat a little more now. Trying to focus on what I am eating, is much healthier for me, I eat about 1/16th if even that of what I used to eat. I know these fears are just years of fighting weight rearing it's ugly head. I know it's going to keep coming off and I have to trust and remember I'm doing everything I'm supposed to, I hope that as the weight comes off and I see the difference in how my clothes fit, that a lot of these thoughts will go. The mind is one of the biggest things that has to change. The eating, drinking habits are actually  much easier than the thoughts going through my head.

Well, I need to get to sleep. Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend from my hometown, who's bringing our family a new kitten! She's a little calico kitten. The kids are all excited. I'm excited! We've had 3 cats (Whiskers is still alive) but we have never had a kitten, so the kids are thrilled and honestly I think I am just as excited as they are to welcome her into our family, kittens are just fun! She will hands down be a very loved sweet girl. We are debating a name for her between 2, so we've decided to wait until she's home to make the final decision. One is Cali (short for calico) and the other is Schatze ( German for sweetheart). I think most of us are learning towards Schatze, but we'll see what fits her once we meet her and love on her for a while. Who knows maybe a new name will come up and it'll be perfect!

Thursday, May 8, 2014

My Girl.






This beautiful girl is my heart. I look at my other two girls and see so much of her in them,especially the bottom picture with her Daddy. I see my youngest, all over her. I get a small piece of her through E and O and I'm so thankful for that. God has surely blessed me that for 2 of the most precious years of my life, she called ME Mommy. I am thankful to the Lord every single day for every single day of her life. I'm so thankful that her life, although not easy, was full of joy, laughter, and as much love as we could put into her. I'm thankful for all those who crossed her path, who allowed their hearts to be touched by her, I'm so thankful to those who continue to remember her. For those who remember Chad and I and reach out, say prayers, and just love us (near and far). I've felt the Lord walking with me through my grief for the last 14 years and know he is my greatest source of comfort. I can't imagine my life without HIM. He holds both my girl and myself in the palm of his hand.





There are Just Sacred Days....this is mine

May 8, 2000 5 AM EST my world stopped, my heart broke, my soul changed. My little girl went to Heaven, after 14 months of fighting for her life.

There was rarely a time my beautiful girl didn't have a smile on her face. We were so blessed with our beautiful girl. Normally on this day, I like to just stay home, avoid the world, and sleep as much as possible. Unfortunately, I can't do that tomorrow, well at least in the morning, because I have a doctors appointment with my surgeon and then with my nurse. They are calling for storms tomorrow and honestly, I'm good with that. I just like when it rains on this day, it honestly encourages me to be a hermit and not even feel bad that I'm not outside. Hopefully when I get home from the doctors, I can just curl up and be smothered by my babies, let the tears flow, and just be.

It's amazing to be to think that our beautiful girl has been with Jesus for 14 years, right there in his awesome presence. To think that she's able to worship him, right at his feet, to be in his Holy presence. So amazing. In all of my awe, it doesn't make me miss her any less. I am so very thankful, though, that when she left my arms she went straight to our Lord.

I cling to my favorite verse: Isaiah 40:11

He will tend his flock like a shepherd;
he will gather the lambs in his arms;
he will carry them in his bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young.


Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Pictures

                                                                    February 2014
                                                            Aprox. 2 months before surgery

May 6, 2014
One week post surgery
19 lbs lost

First Weigh In!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited! I had my appointment at the nutrition clinic and first thing I do is get on the scale. Normally that act is dreaded, not today! I honestly figured I'd lost at most 10 lbs, but what I found was instead I'd lost 19 lbs!!!! Now in general they do not want me losing that much in a week, because I will not just be losing fat, but will be losing lean mass and too fast can also effect my organs. So the goal is 5-10lbs a week. I obviously would prefer to lose 10 lbs a week. I can not tell you how much of a motivator it is, and I can not wait until I can start going to the gym and working out!!

We talked about my diet and how I will proceed. She told me that by this weekend I will be able to able to move to phase II of my diet, and that will allow pea, bean, and lentil soups, yogurt, milk, and pudding to my diet. When I see my doctor on Thursday, I will know for sure when I can start phase II. I honestly am really looking forward to phase II, since I know it'll give me actual substance and variety!

I need to find a "before" picture at my highest weight and I had Chad take a couple pictures today. I will be probably take a picture once a week, so at the very least I can see my progress! I will post them on here, soon, so you can all see my progress as well! I have not been brave enough, yet to share my starting weight, maybe in a couple more weeks. I am still honestly just so ashamed of where I got. That number is something of the past and one I will NEVER, EVER, EVER see again on the scale. EVER! That in and of itself is exciting.

Negative Nelly

I feel like a complete Negative Nelly, today pretty well sucked. Why, well same reason as before, I'm hungry. Seriously hungry. It's going to get better, I KNOW it's going to get better, I know it will! Please just bare with me as I whine and complain about being hungry. I am looking forward to meeting with my nutrionalist tomorrow morning and getting weighed and seeing where I am there! I am so hopeful that a good amount of lbs are gone. I'm not crazy and thinking 20 lbs or something like that after just 1 week, but maybe 10, which is realistic with such a drastic surgery and lack of food.
I have been reading pages of other that this seems to get better after the 1 week mark, so that gives me hope! I just keep reminding myself that worst case scenario is I have 1 more week of this. I can do this.

So my husband (who I seriously have got to think of a nickname on here for!) returned to work today. He's soon retiring after 20 years in the Army and is clearing. He has maybe a day or two left and he should be all done, a lot of that depends on if the people who need to sign off on his clearing papers are there. Today went pretty good. Thankfully my big boys helped with the little ones as needed with the little ones.

Wednesday we're going to The Soldier's Show. We went to it every time they came to our post we were stationed at in Germany and last year we had a conflict and couldn't go here, so I'm excited we can go this year! It's a singing and dancing show and the whole cast are active duty soldiers. So talented and always a great show! I am looking forward to it, it'll be a great distraction at least for an hour on Wednesday night!!

I am really hopeful that this will get a bit easier. I am truly thankful for all of your prayers and support, it does truly help me.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Sunday, Sunday

I stayed home from church today, and I know I could have used it so much, but was more or less "ordered" not to attend by a well intentioned friend who also attends our church (who said she'd bring my butt home if I walked into our church lol). I did appreciate the extra rest all alone.
A friend from church let me know she was coming, so I had to clean up, even though I shouldn't have been, but since no one was home and no one was going to be home in time to help me, it had to get done. I do not recommend this, but sometimes things have to be done, whether I like it or not.
I have found myself today, to be especially angry in general. I am sure it's from hunger. Sorry to say chicken broth, Jello, and Popsicles, and water do not fill one up. It's absolute torture to smell the meals that get made for dinner.
I am honestly am so looking forward to moving to another diet phase. Clear liquid diet, sucks. Seriously, seriously, seriously SUCKS. I know I am not enjoyable to be around, I don't even like being around me,  so why would anyone else? I have found that at times my brain does not seem to work fully the way it should. I find that at times I'm a bit hazy, and it's from lack of food. I know this is only for a short time and yes, I do know I did this to myself and made this decision and I do not regret it. It still doesn't make me less hungry.
I read a fb page on weight loss surgery and it excites me to see how much others have lost and it excites me to see how much weight I'll have off of me in 3 months. It should be a good amount of weight and many clothes sizes I have dropped. I need to get a picture of myself up, so I can show the progress I am making. I am not going to show my starting weight, for a while.


Sunday, May 4, 2014

Day 5 ...Surviving

Lets just start off being really, real. This is really, really hard. Really hard. I KNEW it was going to be hard, but until you have gone through it, you can't truly understand it. I KNOW it will be worth it. I'm on a clear liquid diet right now, which consists of a protein drink that's 20 oz and so it takes me all day to drink, I add a packet of whey protein to it,to give me a little more protein. I drink water, at least 64 oz., drink/eat chicken broth. Let me just say, it sucks. I'm hungry, pretty well all the time. I pray honestly that God will continue to give me strength and I know he'll make it easier, day by day.

Tonight the hubby and I went on a walk. We started off going for one block, and after that I felt like I could go further. We did 2 blocks and by then I was pretty sore. It felt good though, to go further than I thought I could and to stop when I knew I needed to. Tomorrow the goal is the same 2 blocks and hopefully in a couple of days I can add an additional block.
Tomorrow, I'm staying home from church, while the rest of the family goes. JT was invited to a swimming birthday party, so hubby is going to take him and the rest of the kids to swim as well.
Today I decided not to take any pain medication. It wasn't too bad. I still hurt, mostly where my drain was, but at this point, it's no worse than healing from a c-section.

I really don't want this blog to be all about my surgery and recovery, but right now, that's what it is. As I get to be more mobile, and not so focused on being hungry all the time, I will branch out!
Right now, I feel like I'm just surviving.  I am hoping tomorrow will be a bit easier, that my stomach will not constantly be growling. I'm not going to hold my breath, although hopefully since I got some sugar free popcicles and jello that will help.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Day 4

It's almost 3 AM, I can not sleep and I didn't really nap, so not sure what's going on. I had a harder day emotionally, just did not feel supported by my family, although I needed them. I was in a good deal of pain for most of the day and evening, mostly from where the drain was removed from my stomach on Thursday. I walked more than any other day so far. Trying not to go overboard, and not doing enough.
I drank all my water plus some. I also had my protein drink and added whey protein powder so I had an extra 6 grams of protein on top of the 40 that's in my drink as it is.
I am finding that for the most part it's not as hard as I thought it'd be, although about 10 or 11 tonight, I was really, sincerely hungry, but knew I couldn't eat anything, so I just kept drinking my little 1 oz medicine cup of water. There's nothing else I can do. I just have to suck it up, I did not go through this drastic surgery to screw things up and give in.
Speaking of food though, have any of you ever paid attention to how many food commercials there are on tv? Seriously, they are constant. It's annoying. I also know I really have to change my way of thinking. So much of my thinking has gone back to food. I have to break that. It's just facts here. I did not get this fat, because I didn't think about food or eat a lot of crap. I ate a lot of good stuff, too, but it can not be the center of my thoughts any more. It's hard to even admit that, but if I'm going to be real and truly change my life, I have to change my focus.
Starting tomorrow morning, I want to go back to doing something I used to do and it truly helped my day. Reading my bible, reading God's word. Even if the kids are up and going, I can spend 5 or 10 minutes and just read and spend time in prayer before my feet hit the floor to start the day. I want the Lord to be my focus for each day and let him guide me. I want my thoughts to go to the Lord and not food.
I hope tomorrow I can walk a little further, be more open with my family on what I need, and most of all have my time with the Lord.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

There's No Place Like Home Sweet Home

Surgery went great. Tuesday, most of the day is a blur. I remember my parents bringing the kids up for about 5 minutes to visit before taking EG to ballet. Hubby was at the hospital pretty well all day and into the early evening. Not the funnest way to spend your birthday, but he did finally head home, enjoyed a good dinner and his birthday cheese cake, that our oldest son made for him.
I had to be at the hospital on Tuesday at 9:30, my doctor was doing the first surgery of the day already, I was wheeled in around 10:30 or 11 I believe, before I even left the room I got changed and had my iv placed in, they had given me meds, I remember that as we were going down the hall we stopped at the waiting room and I gave my husband a kiss and the nurses talking to me, and that's the last I remember. After surgery I went into recovery for an hour, and then from there I went into my room that I'd stay in until today's discharge. I have no memory of recovery, and honestly no idea what time I actually came to. I know I was back in my room by 4, because of when my parents came up with the kids. I had the worst case of "cotton mouth" aka dry mouth. I couldn't drink anything that first day. Thankfully I was able to swab my mouth out with water and just spit it out. I also couldn't get out of my bed that first day either.
When they had told me I wouldn't walk until the day after my surgery, I thought they were crazy. I have had 6 c-sections, but they were 100000% right! I not only had no desire to walk that first day, I had no energy to. I forgot how exhausting it is to be completely put under and that your body just needs that rest!
My recovery nurses were awesome! I had the same nurses the whole time I was in the hospital and can not say enough about how wonderful they were.
Wednesday, I was able to get up and walk, then around 11 I had my barium swallow, which was to check and make sure I had no leaks in my much smaller stomach. While I was having my swallow study, one of the two visiting surgeons one from Ft. Carson and one from Ft. Lewis, they observed. My doctor has quite a few years of experience, but they have even more experience. The surgeon from Carson was there during my swallow study said that my sleeve surgery went beautifully and that I have the smallest and tightest sleeve they have done so far, and that my weight loss will be quite great and will be more than Dr. C had initially anticipated.
They were all very happy with how the surgery went and how I was recovering.
I did a fair amount of walking on Wednesday,with lots of naps, drinking my water, sipping my broth, and more napping. My parents headed home early evening while the hubs took the kids to the last night of AWANA which is a fun Carnival that the youth group puts on. After AWANA he brought the kids up to see me. They stayed about 20 or so minutes, then I was able to walk them to the elevator and kiss everyone goodbye/good night.
Wednesday night I fell asleep around midnight, after my nurse came in and gave me a dose of my medicine and then I slept for the next 7 hours, uninterrupted! Do you know how good that feels? 7 hours straight! I am not sure the last time I slept like that! I woke up and felt AMAZING!! My doctor came up and looked at my incisions, talked to me about how I was feeling and doing and told me I was going to be able to go home today! He came back up after lunch and said I was good to go! I had 2 friends who work at the hospital come to visit me. One of the friends is actually part of the team for this surgery, she was great at encouraging me and reminding me to take it easy (no church on Sunday! LOL) and just wants me to take care of myself!! The other friend, is going to have the same surgery. She is having some knee problems, so until that is resolved she can't have the Sleeve surgery done, (please pray for her to get answers on her knee) and I was able to tell her about my experience. I am praying she's able to have the surgery soon, so that we can do this journey together.
I got home today, was greeted by 4 out of the 5 kiddos with Miss O napping. I started to dose on the couch, since I didn't sleep much at the hospital today, once I woke up at 7. Once "O" was up, JT took her straight downstairs and they all left for the grocery store, and I slept the whole time. I woke up 3 hours later when the husband called to let me know they were finally in line at the store.
I was able to eat some broth this evening, continue with my water, and took a shower for the first time since Monday evening. Let me just say I felt like a new woman after that shower! Hubby helped me change my dressing, from where they took the drain out of my stomach this morning, and I was able to climb into bed and get all nice and comfy.
So far I have had my stomach growling, but the broth took care of that. Now the hard work begins. Now I have the tool, my stomach is much,much smaller, I have a support group. Now it's time to start. This week and next week I am on a full clear fluid diet. The next stage will be a liquid diet, but not clear, so I'll have a few more options.
I am on pain meds. I can no longer ever again in my life take NSAIDS. I am limited, to Tylenol and a few other things. I am working to stay on top of my pain. I am very thankful that my husband is here to help me with everything I have to keep track of.
I do not want this blog to be all about my weight loss surgery and weight loss. I want this to be mostly about where the Lord is taking me in my life. I want it to be focused on him. I do know though, that he's walked with me through this process. He's the one I have turned to, I've prayed, and looked to him for guidance. I know that the one who will help me the most, is the Lord.
Next Thursday,we're coming up on the 14th year since our oldest went home to the Lord. I will just say it now, I need your prayers that day for sure, and I'll need them the next 6 days leading up. I know I need his strength, he knows how hard that day is for me and that the days leading up I'm often pretty messed up and just wading through the days. I continue to seek his peace and his comfort. He knows my grief, he knows my heart. He knows how scattered I am and how all over the place I am.
I hope you will all be patient with me, as I share my heart, just how scattered my brain really is, and this new life changing journey I am on with my weight loss.
I have had blogs over the years, but have never until this one shared it with friends and family. It's honestly very big for me. I have often been one not afraid to share my feelings or thoughts, but to open myself up so completely, that's a different story. I rarely let people in and let them see the complete me. So here we go, some may like or love me more and some may like me less and walk away. I am okay with those who need to walk away. I want those who truly WANT to be in my  life, here and those who don't, to leave. I don't need or want fake. I want honest. I want real.

So with all this scattered mess tonight, I'm off to get some sleep.

God Bless
Christy