About Me

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I'm Christy. Christian first, wife to a Retired Soldier, mom to 7, our oldest is with the Lord after he called her home against a battle against AML leukemia. I am a Homeschooling/SAHM/Housewife. The biggest blessing in my life is serving The Lord, Jesus Christ. I am a sinner, fail often, but am forgiven.

Friday, October 10, 2014

A little realism.

What a week we've had. My mother in law passed away, Sunday morning. Her funeral was yesterday. It's been funeral planning, and we still have to help pick our in-laws headstone, tomorrow. (My father in law is still alive, but he's included everyone in all the decisions).
Tonight we're going to go watch our nephew play football, about an hour away. I suggested we go, because he's a Senior and we'll never get the opportunity again, when we live 12 hours away, popping up for a game, just doesn't happen!
Today, I've just been trying to decompress & have a mentally quiet day. I was reading facebook earlier & read a friends status & comments about the friend getting off work early to pick her son up & in the process put stay at home mom's down, then another of her friends chimed in. Honestly, I am so sick of the flipping jealousy. I will not apologize for choosing to stay home with my children. I will not apologize that it's important to my husband that I stay home. We are not rolling in the money, just the opposite actually. It's not a luxury to stay home, it's putting our children as a priority & making sacrifices, many many sacrifices. I believe the Lord called me to be a mother & that job is raising them, he's called me to home school them, etc.
It's time to suck it up people. Quit all the complaining.
There are a lot of things we get no choice about. We had no choice that our daughter died. We had no choice that my husband's momma died. We suck it up. There are many things we DO get to choose though, and if your choice has led to your unhappiness, well accept your roll in that, quit blaming others, who most definitely had no roll in your life circumstances and maybe be happy that others do not share those circumstances, although for all you know, they do, but have found a different way. (Maybe they work 3rd shift, have their kids sleep at Grandma's or have a babysitter, etc) just sitting and judging people without knowing their circumstances, without knowing THEM, doesn't look bad on them, it looks bad on YOU.
Life's hard. It can really suck sometimes.  But we suck it up and keep going.
We praise God for all the blessings we have, and we praise him for the hard times we have as well. We don't deserve a single day as it is. Be thankful.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Big News and pictures


I shared on facebook already, so I figure I'll share here as well. I'm 4 months post-op and 3 months pregnant. The pregnancy was NOT expected, not planned, and was attempted to "prevent". When you have Weight loss surgery you're advised to not get pregnant for 1 to 2 years after surgery. I can say that condoms are obviously not 100% and well we have a little one on his or her way, that proves that!! Although this blessing was not planned by us, we know that the Lord planned for this life and that He will bless this little miracle.
I have seen everyone on my weight loss team and they are all thrilled and so very encouraging to me. They were definitely  more excited for me, than I was for a few weeks. It took me a couple months to truly have it settle in, but I'm there now and starting to feel excited. Our youngest 3 are excited,the two big boys are accepting! :) E says she doesn't care if it's a boy or a girl, she is just excited to have another baby in the house! N wants a boy! O doesn't quite grasp it, but her little world is going to be rocked. I'm due just 3 days after I was due with O. I actually went into labor 21 days before my EDD with O, and I went into labor 14 days before my EDD with N. I'm interested to see if I go into labor again or if I'll make my planned c-section!! I'd prefer to not go into labor, but I have no control over that part and will just trust the Lord that this baby will come on the day the Lord has planned!! I'm officially 12 weeks, so one more week and I'll be in my 2nd trimester!

I have also now lost 81 lbs. I go see my nutritionist on Tuesday, so I guess we'll see if I've lost anymore.
I made a new collage, 2 actually front view and side views, that are up top. The first ones on each are from today and they go throughout the last 4 months.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

So close to another goal!

I stepped on the scale and found 10 lbs gone!! I'm now at 78 lbs gone, total!! I can't believe that as of yesterday I'm officially 4 months post-op and have lost nearly 80 lbs! It's hard to believe that I could possibly lose 100 lbs in the next couple of months! It's just amazing to me. I even have been slacking on walking and working out in general, because it's been so hot (high 90's and 100's and high humidity) the last couple of weeks. I still have to pinch myself, that I've really lost this much weight. I am hoping that by next week, I'll have at least, if not over 80 lbs lost. I feel like I'm doing everything right, and just need to keep things up, keep walking (we went for a walk last night and it felt good and thankfully had cooled off a bit). We bought me some 5 lb hand weights, so I can be firming my arms aka bat wings up. I actually am developing some muscle in my arms. One place I have most definitely noticed smaller is my arms, especially my upper arms. I've hated my arms for years, and although I'd wear sleeveless shirts, would feel so self-conscience in them, felt so fat and gross. I don't feel like that anymore. I feel comfortable with them for the first time in I'd say at least 8 or more years! I've also noticed my chest is smaller and I never thought I'd see the day!! I think I may be the most excited over that!! :) For those who know me, know that's a really big deal! LOL

Monday, August 25, 2014

Broken

What led to my weight gain. My heart broke 14 years ago. I held my daughter as she took her last breath, was released from her pain, and left my arms for Jesus'. It broke me, devastated me. The person I was,died with her. I was filled with a despair that I had never felt or could have understood. I found out 8 days later that I was pregnant. Grief overtook me. I just wanted my little girl back. Two years was not enough. I did not understand why the Lord will give me another baby, when he just took the one I longed to hold back in my arms.  Once her funeral was over and we returned to Virgina, I could not stand to stay awake during the day. The apartment was so quiet and it was a constant reminder that she was gone. I found myself staying up all night long. I'd normally be online, chatting on aol with other mom's who had also lost their child from cancer. I found 2 of my best friends in that group and we'd chat for hours on end. They understood better than anyone else I knew. One of them was also pregnant, the other ended up pregnant a few months later, only to sadly lose her baby. To this day, I don't know what I'd do without T & K,and forever thankful for the DaybyDay group and the wonderful woman who created it.
So I was pregnant, sleeping most of the day, up half the night online, laying on the couch watching tv, until I could finally drift off to sleep. When my husband would get up to go to PT, I'd wake up normally as he shut the door and I'd go sleep for as long as possible in bed. I kept her door closed most of the time, I couldn't bare to look at her room, her empty bed, her unplayed with toys, her clothes hanging in her closet.
I was so sick through half the pregnancy I actually lost 20 lbs, it finally stopped half way through the pregnancy and I gained the 20 back. Once he was here, I gained a few pounds,but got most of it off. Then I got pregnant with JT. I gained about 20 lbs, then after he was born, 5months later my husband deployed and I was still in pretty deep grief and found comfort in food. When JT was about 18 months old, I joined Weight Watchers. I lost 25 lbs,then we moved to Germany. I quickly regained that 25 and some. I fought the pounds, could lose 5 to 10, only to regain, plus.
Through it all, I found comfort in 2 things....Jesus and food. Food was an instant gratification. I obviously found comfort and went looking for it more often in food than I did in the Lord.
Anger took over a huge part of my heart, and it's something I constantly fight and often lose that battle.
I emotionally have been pretty turned off for years. I used to cry at the drop of a hat,but the last 4 years that rarely happens. Now it's rare for me to cry and if I do, it's because I've been so hurt or I'm so touched or moved.

I have felt worthless, defeated, fat and ugly for years. I still feel like that. I'm NOT looking for self-pity, I'm just being honest. I do not feel worthy of love. I feel ugly and fat. I've lost almost or maybe at 70 lbs now and I still feel fat and ugly. I still have a lot of weight to lose (about 50) to be at my goal weight that I've set for myself. I honestly don't know if I will ever not feel fat and ugly. Once upon a time, I just to be light hearted, full of laughter, fairly conceited, and "knew" I was pretty. I know I need to see a counselor to help me deal with all these feelings and work through them.

So many things led to my weight gain, most of all my weakness. My lack of turning to God over food, for comfort and healing. I found myself falling into that today. The difference is, that I can't over eat, if I do, I get severely sick. I have a lot of head and heart things I need to change, to work on.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

More than a weight loss blog

When I started this blog, I wanted it to be about all faucets of my life, not just my journey to weight loss through my Gastric Vertical Sleeve surgery. I've blogged a couple times about other things, but 99% of this has been about my weight loss. That ends today! I will still blog about my triumphs with weight loss, my struggles, etc but that's not all I am going to be writing about from here on out. Homeschooling is a huge part of our life. In the past I have not blogged a lot about our schooling, but here's the reality, for us homeschooling is more than just the traditional thought of school, it's in everything we do in every part of our day. My children are constantly learning, whether they are cooking breakfast, making a dessert, outside playing with each other. We have a lot of natural learning times, playing with blocks and Lego's, jumping on the trampoline, football, ballet, tap dance, dancing in the living room. We do have structured learning time though.

Monday we began our official school year. This is our 9th year homeschool. J.K was 5 years old when I began homeschooling him. He was a natural reader devoured every book placed in front of him. From the get go he was not a fan of math. He could do it and did do it, but he did not enjoy it at all. We tried multiple ones, but none seemed to just draw him in. The first couple of years we did school during JT's nap time. School normally took us 30 minutes to 1 hour during those days, so we'd still have time to cuddle, some days he took a nap himself during the first year, play blocks, etc. We had a lot of outside play time during those days, at the park that was right across the parking lot.

JT did not enjoy school. Reading did not come naturally to him. We spent most days our first 4 years both in tears, he was frustrated that he couldn't read, and I felt like a complete and utter failure. The first day of 4th grade started off with more tears, then something amazing happened on the 2nd day,reading clicked for him. It was amazing. He went from a boy who needed me to help him sound out every single little word to a boy who was needing no help, who no longer had to sound words out, but the letters had formed words that he just knew! It's been an amazing transformation to watch him struggle so much to loving to read and enjoying school. He still takes much longer than I wish he would, but a lot of that is called poor time management on  his part, and he is the one who suffers, since he's still not finished with his school work today, but is at football practice, so when he gets home at 8, he will get to shower, eat dinner, and then finish his school work.

I sit with E, she's only in 2nd grade and honestly, I like our time to just cuddle on the couch, as I read to her, as she does her math, as we make up sentences for her to write, as she shares what the bible passage we just read means. I love that time. She normally is able to finish school in about 1 to 1 1/2 hours. I know that as the school year progresses, she will read more on her own, but I'm thankful for this time together.

While we do school, the youngest two are normally playing together. Daddy is often home in the mornings, so he helps keep them distracted. I do a little preschool work with N. It's not a lot of sit down things, although he is working on learning to write his name, write numbers, and the alphabet. He knows how to count, his colors, shapes, etc He spends a lot of time playing with lego's, building and taking apart. O spends a lot of time dancing and singing for us! Some times she is an absolute distraction! She's so cute though. I need to get more finger paint, find our tub of play doh, pull out the crayons and let them be productive in those fun ways, so that they're less of a distraction.

Our sweet baby girl, O, has decided that she no longer wants to sleep in a crib. I know she's 2 1/2,but well she's always been so awesome sleeping in her crib, until this week, when she started crawling out of it! She normally will crawl into E's bed (they share a room). So we're going to take the crib down, and let her move into the trundle/mattress under E's bed. They'll have more play room in there with the crib gone, and I can just push O's bed back under the daybed in the morning. She's growing up far too quickly for my liking.

I feel like life is going to be very busy this year, but our focus will continue to be centered on the Lord. Christ is the center, and if he's not, we're going to fall apart. I am thankful we have Christ to be centered all, because no matter how many activities we are involved in, what's truly important comes back to Him and only Him.
With that, I'm signing off. I have a couple more pages to grade, cuddles to be had, and an evening to enjoy!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

So Close to 70

I'm just 2 lbs away from reaching my 70 lb goal before hitting the 4 month mark since having my surgery! I had an appointment today with my surgeon, he's thrilled with my progress and order a couple more labs. My iron was dangerously low last month, so I had those redone. I've been taking liquid iron, which btw if you've never had the pleasure, is one of the most disgusting things you'll ever taste. I did find that Orange Juice covers the awful taste, so I take 2 tablespoons of iron with about 1 oz of OJ. I can say that having low iron has really taken a big toll on me energy wise, it's called I have none. I am hoping that my iron levels will improve and I will start feeling more energized again. I continue to walk, and weight resistance.
A couple nights ago I was looking at the weight loss surgery page that I follow on FB and a woman who had her surgery after me has reached 100 lbs weight loss. I initially felt down on myself, after finding out she was over 150 lbs larger than I was to begin with, I was able to remind myself, that even if we had started at the same weight and height, we all lose differently, and I've been encouraged by everyone that I'm losing it at a nice and steady speed, and there's never been a time in my life that I have lost 68 lbs in 16 weeks! That's huge!
Today, I saw a friend who I hadn't seen all summer, when I took my oldest to ballet. Her reaction was so encouraging to me. She said I looked like a different person. I don't always see the transformation when I look in the mirror. I see a difference, but not quite the drastic one that others see. She said I look even smaller in person than the pictures I post.
I am so thankful that the Lord provided me with this surgery. It's saved and is saving my life. I know so many people think I took the "easy" way out in losing weight. You know what, I do not care what they think. This surgery was only a tool, if I don't eat correctly, if I don't work out, then the tool of surgery will fail.
No one has said anything negative to me about WLS, but if they did, they'd get educated quickly, and if they were rude and nasty,they'd be out of my life. We all have a journey to health. For me a part of that journey has been Gastric Vertical Sleeve surgery, and I'm forever grateful and happy I chose this route. I did nearly 5 years of research. I spent a great deal of time praying, seeking words of wisdom who had their own WLS. I tried time and time again to do it without surgery, only to fail and gain more weight than I had lost. I have no regrets. If you are looking at having WLS, please feel free to contact me. I'll share very honestly my personal experience. I am only almost 4 months out, but can share pre surgery what I had to do and what it's been like since having surgery.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Marriage taken lightly

In my years of research of Gastric Bypass surgeries. There are of course the many benefits to these surgeries: weight loss, lower chances of diseases from diabetes, heart issues, cancers, etc.
Many people after weight loss can go a little "crazy", so to speak. Many will begin to drink heavily and/or very often, many decide that they don't need their spouse and divorce. Some spouses feel threatened from their partners new body and outlook on life.

What bothers me so much though, is that on the various support pages I'm on, as I see hurting people, I see others encouraging them to walk away from their promise to God and their spouse. People do not take their vows seriously and as soon as the roads hands them some bumps or curves, they are ready to walk away. There seems to be very few of us who encourage them to try to work on their marriage. There's no forgiveness, there's no seeking guidance to work it out, it's just "walk away and be happy". Happiness is a fleeting emotion. What  makes you happy today, may cause you sorrow tomorrow. Marriage is sacred and it's not just between the man and woman, it's between God, as well. Divorce is rarely the answer. It makes me sad and hurts my heart and honestly at times just makes me angry. Angry to see how marriage is so often just taken so lightly by people. I also get angry when people assume that someone's marriage is going to be in danger because of this surgery and life style change.

Please join me in praying for marriage in general and for those who take marriage AND divorce so lightly.
Pray that they will instead of seeking advice from people on facebook, they will seek the Lord instead.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Goal Met!!

I set a goal of having 60 lbs gone by the end of July and I made it!! Today I got on the scale and found that I lost another 3 lbs from last Thursday, and I have now lost 61 pounds!! I have a goal of 10 more lbs this month. I'd love to see 70 lbs gone. To see my clothes getting smaller. I have noticed my waist is getting smaller, my legs are thinning down, my face has definitely gotten slimmer, and in general I'm getting toner. I still have a long ways to go,  but I will reach my goal. I am hoping that with in the next 18 months I will reach my goal weight, I will be in better shape and health than I've been since I was a teenager. I am not saying I'll be in the same shape, and will not be the same weight as when I was a teen, just that I'll be in the best shape and health since then! I'm 37 years old and have had 6 babies, my hips will NEVER return to where they were at 18, and I'm good with that. I have beautiful babies who changed my body, I just want to be able to keep up with those kiddo's, go biking with them, play ball with them and not be exhausted after a few minutes!

I am so thankful that I decided on having the Sleeve also knows as a GVS (Gastric Vertical Sleeve), for me and my health, this was the best decision I have ever made. My doctor called me yesterday and gave me the results of all my 3 month lab results. Everything looked good, except my iron was low. I am now on liquid iron, I picked up my prescription today. I have to admit, I'm kind of dreading it. I was told to mix it with juice, I don't drink juice, because it has so  much sugar in it, but I'm going to have to drink a little tiny bit of it, so i can get the iron down! Thankfully I just have to start with 1 tsp and then after a week, I'll move up to 2 tsp twice a day!

That's it for now. I'm not sure when I go back to see my doctor, probably in September. I do go to see my nutritionist in August, so I'll be weighed again then, so hopefully I'll see at least 5 more pounds gone by then. I continue to eat right and exercise, and know I'm getting stronger and smaller!!! I'll take new pictures next month.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Updated Picture



I've lost 58 lbs since April 29, 2014. I am working hard with exercise and being careful in what I eat and how much I eat, and drinking lots and lots of water (I average about 100 oz).
2 more lbs to my July goal of 60 lbs gone.

12 Weeks post-op!

We are finally done with baseball, I can't say I'm terribly sad to see it over, it was a great season for both big boys and for my young ones who played tball, but it's nice that Tuesday's and Friday's are now free, and with that I'm going to start doing something for "me" on Tuesday's, by going to water aerobics.

I went last week and weighed in and was at 54 lbs gone, today I weighed and I lost another 4 lbs, so here I am at 12 weeks 2 days with 58 lbs gone! I only have 2 more lbs to lose to meet my 60 lb goal loss in 3 months, I really think I can do it by next Friday!! I'm going to be working out hard, continuing to watch what I am eating, and just making smart and healthy choices. On our walk tonight with my husband, I told him that I am now at the same weight I was when we moved to Germany in 2005. I had done Weight Watchers for 6 months and had lost 30 lbs. I'm so excited to see that number and know that although the GVS has been the biggest tool so far in my weight loss, that me eating healthier and less and exercising have me back to that weight and soon to surpass it and be even smaller!

I did discover on Sunday that my taste buds have most definitely changed a bit. Someone had made banana bread and it was being raved about by everyone. I took a tiny bite and had to spit it out, it was too sweet for me. It's shocking to me, yet nice to know that I may not even enjoy the "sweet" things in life so to speak! :)
I find that I can get my sweet tooth taken care of through fruits and popsicles. I don't need things full of sugar, which ultimately makes me tired, unhappy, and well lets face it helped make me fat.

I went to my parents on Monday and my mom and dad and my mom's best friend all said they could see the difference. I'm still struggling to see the drastic weight loss in myself. Now, I do see a difference in my face. It's most definitely slimmer and I can tell that my stomach is much smaller. I do not see a difference in my chest, arms, or legs yet. I am going to start working harder on working out my arms and legs. I will get a picture of myself tomorrow and post it here tomorrow, so others can see the difference. It helps me to see pictures as well, so I can see what's really happening to my body and not just what I see (or don't see) in the mirror!
I am pleased to say that I'm down to 1X and XL shirts!!! Amazing to me. It's been so long since I could wear an XL shirt, and now not only can I fit it, there's room in it! I have only kept a couple pieces of my old clothes so that I can do the before and after picture, once I've reached my goal wight and size!!



Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Another Weigh In

I weighed in today and was pleasantly surprised to find another 4 lbs gone!! That's a total of 54 lbs so far gone!! I continue to work out, eat right, and just over all work hard. Tonight we had VBS. I'm in the snack room, we had cookies and gummie bears. I didn't eat a bit of it. It was tempting, but I resisted. I know having something that's not 100% healthy for me will be okay, but I know that right now, I just don't feel strong enough to have them.
Tomorrow and Wednesday, I'm heading to the gym, with the goal of getting in at least 4 miles, if not more. We have VBS tomorrow evening, and although my 2 oldest boys are at camp, my oldest will be getting picked up (and not to return to camp) so he can play ball. Unfortunately he can not return to camp, so he'll be helping out at VBS the rest of the week. Thankfully he was able to stay at camp for 2 1/2 days and will only miss out on about 2 1/2 days. I will say since he's not returning to camp, life got a lot simpler. JT decided he wanted to stay at camp, and I know he'll come home with tons of excitement on Friday of all the things they did this week and I can't wait to hear all about it!
I'm off to bed, I should have been to bed a couple hours ago!! :)

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

I'm So Excited, I Just Can't Hide It!!

Oh yes I am!!!! I reached my 50 pound weight loss goal at exactly 10 weeks!!!! I had my appointment with my nutritionist today and some how I stayed calm! LOL I can not believe 50 lbs are gone, forever!!!!! I have a goal of at least 55 lb weight loss by the end of the month. I think that's a very reasonable and realistic loss for the next 2 1/2 weeks.
I am so thankful I decided this route. I'm getting healthier, making better food choices, working out consistently, and honestly I just feel better physically and emotionally. Last night I pushed myself harder than I have so far, while on the elliptical. I went 4.3 miles, in 1 hour 5 minutes, burned over 600 calories. I'll be heading back to the gym tomorrow evening, to get a few more miles on the elliptical. I would like to keep up the same pace for a couple weeks then try to bump it up to 5 miles in the same time. I want to keep challenging myself, to get healthier, get this weight off, and be over all more active in life.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Week 9 weigh in!!

The kids had an appointment today and while there I weight myself! From last Thursday to today, I lost 7 more lbs!! That's a total of 47 lbs in 9 weeks. I've made sure to get my protein in, a lot of walking, a lot of water, and the hot weather aka sweating, has hurt either!! :)
Tonight, I'm going on a bike ride! I'm excited to see how far I can make it, and plan on 3 times a week, the whole family going on a bike ride. I have Miss O's toddler seat on the back of my bike, so she will had a little over 20 lbs, which will only help me burn more calories and get stronger!

I can't believe it's only the 3rd of July and I've almost made my end of the month goal! I think I'm going to change my goal to 55 lbs by the end of July. I hope with adding in new things in my exercise regiment that I can boost my metabolism, get in more than enough protein,and lots of water, that I can reach that new goal.

Thank you to those who read this, support me, encourage me, and stand behind me. I am truly grateful for you!

Friday, June 27, 2014

Another goal met!!!

Last night after bible study a friend asked for a ride home. She had her own surgery (not the Sleeve, but RNY). I've not bought a scale yet, so I asked my friend if she had one that I could get on.
I have lost exactly 40 lbs!!! Tuesday marked 8 weeks since I had my sleeve! It's amazing to think that in a little less than 2 months, I've lost 40 lbs. FORTY!
My goal for 12 weeks, is 50 lbs. I believe I will meet that goal.  My friend is going to start going to the gym with me a couple times a week and then walking 5 days a week at least (some weeks I walk 7 days) and last night we walked 5 miles and that included 2 pretty good hills. I will say the hill was not nearly as exhausting as it has been in the past. After our walk, I felt so energized.
It's been really amazing so far and I honestly am just so excited to see the transformation with my body and inside as well. I recognize my triggers, when I'm actually hungry or at least NEED to eat vs just eating to eat, emotions that go into the desire to eat and other options (like going for a walk) when I'm dealing with emotions that make me want to dig into a pan of brownies.
This is not easy. The surgery was a tool, but I'm the one who has to make the good choices. I have to choose to eat high/lean protein, I have to exercise. Each of these 3 things will help me to get to a healthy weight, and just be healthy over all.
One pound at a time, and everything that it takes is worth it.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Update

I'm at 7 1/2 weeks out, I have not weighed myself this week, but yesterday, I tried on a XL tshirt, I started off in a 3 XL and that XL FIT!!!!! I was so excited. It could fit a little looser, but I was still able to not only get in it and wore it!!!! My shorts are fitting far more comfortably!
The one thing I am going to start really working hard on, is my arms. The upper arms are so flappy, yes I wrote flappy...they flap in the wind! It's loose skin and it's time to work hard to try to get things the best I can.

I'm walking farther than ever and in shorter amounts of time, even when I don't feel like it, I'm going out and walking. Yesterday was a VERY long day. I watched my friends 2 kids as always and helped another friend with her grandkids, I was up at 6:30 to start my day and fell in bed around 1 AM. We had a full day of childcare, then both of my big boys had baseball games, and they both had personally great games! One game started at 6:30 and the other started at 8:15. My husband after working 11-5 went to K.C. I to pick up friends of his who were flying back from leave/vacation, so he got home about 15 or so minutes after we got home from the games. We both just say dazed and exhausted, as I told the boys to take the dogs for a walk, I back tracked and told them to just get them on their leashes, and my husband and I instead went for a walk. It was only one mile, but hey at least I got that mile in.
So I have not shared update pictures. I made a collage, to show my progress. I can see it the most in my face and chin(s). :) Progress has been made.




Friday, June 13, 2014

Goal met!!!!

I first have to fix something, on Tuesday I had lost 32 lbs, not 33. I'm still happy with that number, because it was still weight lost!! Today I met with my doctor/surgeon for the last time. I am happy, yet sad, he is a great doctor so it was always nice to see him!
So I stepped on the scale today and I lost 3 lbs between Tuesday and today! Oh yes I did! I have no idea how, other than just doing what I've been doing. I have now at 6 weeks 2 days lost 35 lbs!
So if I continue to lose 2 lbs a week, by the end of the month I should be VERY close to a 40 lb weight loss and by the end of July, I should be at or very near 50 lbs off! I am working hard. I'm eating right, I'm making sure I eat protein, protein, protein and healthy carbs.
I bought a watermelon today and am looking forward to cutting into it tomorrow! YUM! Plus, I think we'll buy another one and I'm going to make homemade popsicles from it!
I've made sure to not eat any junk food. My daily treats are sf popsicles and all natural beef jerky, which has high protein, a good amount of fiber, and no sugar, plus it's just really good! A lot of people on my gastric sleeve (GSV) support group suggested it!

As far as the rest of life goes. We are busy, busy, busy! Our two older boys JK and JT are both playing baseball and traveling. Tuesday night, JK had a game 30 minutes away and it went nearly an hour past what it was supposed to and 3 innings past. Our guy had struck out each time he was up to bat, finally at 10:40 PM, we had a guy on 3rd, 1 on first, and our guy was up at bat. They had brought in their relief pitcher, who was throwing a LOT of balls. I told JK to make him pitch to him and keep in mind that he was throwing lots of balls. The first 3 pitches were balls, then 2 strikes right in a row, the last pitch was perfect and JK swung and HIT it! It went flying past the short stop, and our boy on 3rd ran in and that was the game! I think all the other parents from our team was loving our boys (since they all professed their love for him! LOL) and we finally got home at 11:30. We were both pretty wiped out, but I was so proud of him.
JT is trying, this is the first year he's played where it's not coach pitch. We have seen him grow and improve. I know he'll continue to improve. The most important part though is he loves playing.
E and N are both on the same tball team and have so much fun. They both are good hitters. N doesn't pay a lot of attention when he's in the outfield, but he's 4 and honestly he does well, he's not playing in the dirt (although yesterday he was throwing his glove up in the air over and over! LOL). E has played before, but that was 2 years ago. She hits great (each time it went out into the outfield), she works hard whether she's on 3rd base or in outfield.
Life is not slow right now, but it's just for a season and honestly it's enjoyable and keeping busy, keeps us active. We try to go swimming on the days that it's not raining and the big boys don't have a game, more time to be active for all of us.

What I don't believe I shared on Tuesday is that the hubby got a part time job! He's officially retired from the Army on July 1,  so the fact that he's working is a huge blessing for us. He's working at the PX (It's the Army's version of WalMart/Target). He's working in Sporting Goods, mostly he'll be at the gun counter and will float if/when they need him to. This week and next he's got plum hours of 11-5, except on Sunday he'll work 2-8, which stinks since it's Father's Day, but the kid and I are going to make sure the day is still special for him. I plan on making him a special dinner on Saturday, a special breakfast for him Sunday morning, and hopefully a lunch that he can enjoy before he has to get to work, but thankfully he'll be at church with us.

I do not see my nutritionist for 4 weeks and I will not see my regular doctor for 6 weeks! SIX! It seems really long time. Hubby's buying us a scale, so that once a week I can weigh in. I just am praying that I do not get obsessive about getting on the scale. I want to only get on it on Tuesday's.
I do need to take a picture, I'm going to have my updated picture taken tomorrow, and will post it sometime, probably during nap time! ;) I can tell I've lost weight in my face and chin(s) or lack of chins!!! I also can tell by the way clothes fit me, or more so no longer fit me. I have already given away the majority of my old clothes that are now far too big for me!
I plan on keeping a shirt and a pair of pants, so that when I reach my goal, I can show the difference and remind myself how far I've come!

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

6 Weeks Post Op!!!

I met with my nutritionist, who I won't again for 4 weeks. She was very happy with my progress. I have now lost 33 lbs! I'm averaging 2 lbs a week for the most part. I'm going to be working to up my protein and up working out as well, so that hopefully I can get a couple weeks with a 5 lb loss and get my skins elasticity a better chance. My age helps (under 40), working out helps, eating healthy also helps. Your skin elasticity means that my skin will bounce back and I'll need less surgery to get rid of extra skin. I know there will be a need for some, but hopefully it'll be much less and far more minor.

Right now if I continue at the 2 lb loss I should be at 50 lbs off by the end of July. That will put me at 3 months out, can you imagine 50 lbs off in 3 months? It seems unreal to me, yet motivates me that much more to work harder, continue to eat healthy. Our family as a whole are making changes together. I look forward to my kids simply eating healthier, and being even more active. On Thursday, I'm buying a new bike seat for my bike and for my 6 year olds bike, then we're going to start going on bike rides 3 times a week. I have a seat for my 2 year old on the back of my bike, we also have a bike trailer so as we build up distance, we can hook that up to put the little ones in and go on longer rides.

For today, I am celebrating that I have lost 33 lbs so far and that the number will only grow bigger as the scale number goes down. I have decided since I will not be seen for 6 weeks after Thursday, I'm going to get a scale. Pray for me to not be my normal obsessive self with the scale. I want to only get on the scale every Tuesday morning.

I'll post again after my Thursday appointment with Dr. C. I hope I see the scale go down at least 1 or 2 more numbers!!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Goal met!!!

I've lost 31 lbs!!!!!! Today also marks 5 weeks since I had my surgery! It's amazing to me that I've lost 31 lbs in 5 weeks! I go see my doctor and nutritionist next week, I really hope I'll be close to or at 35 lbs by then! We have baseball tonight for both of our big boys, so once home we'll go for a walk and then I plan on going to our community gym and working out on the eliptical and some light weights! I'm so excited to see the weight come off, hopefully with the extra that I'm able to do now, the next 19 will come off pretty easy. I honestly can not wait to hit the 50 lb mark. My next reasonable goal is to have 40 lbs off by the time I hit the 2 month mark, which I believe is very attainable.

We went to my parents this weekend. They have a pool and I was able to swim around in it, play with the kids. It's not a pool I can easily do laps in, but while I was in, I tried to make sure I was moving, well other than the time I was on the very comfortable pool chair! LOL

While at my parents, my dad made brownies. Brownies have always been my favorite dessert. I had a true affection for them, just loved them. They smelled amazing. I would have loved to have been able to have had a bite, but I can't and I was okay with it. I will say that was the biggest self-control I've had to have so far. I was honestly very proud of myself.

Tomorrow I'm calling our Wellness Center and making an appointment to get back in, be evaluated, and look forward to them helping me get healthy! My husband said they have pedometers, so I'll be getting one of those, so I can keep track of my steps.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Almost to my next goal!!!

I saw my doctor today and stepped on the scale and was thrilled! I lost another 3 lbs since last Thursday! I'm now at a 28 lb loss in exactly 4 weeks since my surgery! This was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life! Accepting Jesus as my Savior being the BEST, marrying Chad, having my children, and then having the Gastric Sleeve Surgery! I am truly so thankful and amazed at what I've accomplished in only 4 short weeks!
I know that by next week I'll reach 30 lbs weight loss! I am beyond thrilled! I want to jump for joy!!

I was given permission to start working out on the elliptical and doing light weight lifting and swimming laps! I am so excited, because I know doing those 3 things will help to get even more weight off, will help boost my energy levels even more, and be that much more encouraging to me!

I look to the Lord and know that he's my biggest fan. He loves me more than anyone and I know he wants what is best for me. I lean on him and his understanding and know that with him, I can do anything!! I'm so thankful for family and friends who are supporting me, encouraging me, cheering me on, and sincerely excited for me with each step I take!

I will not stop,even once I meet my goal weight and size, I will continue this journey, because it's a life change. Working out and eating right is what I have to do and there is no going back.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Week 2 picture

Had a great day. We celebrated NJ's 4th birthday with friends and family. He had so much fun. Daddy got to spend the evening sorting through 4 new Halo Lego sets (big and small ones) that he and his buddies opened and then dumped on the living room floor, in a big pile! Daddy got 3 of them done and has 1 left to do tomorrow!

This morning before church, I decided to go through some clothes a friend who had gastric bypass a year and a half ago gave me this past winter, to see if anything she gave me would fit. I pulled out a dress and it was 2 dress sizes smaller than what I have been wearing and it fit!!!!! I couldn't believe it and was so excited!

I had the husband take a couple pictures of me tonight in the dress and for my very late 2 week photo!

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Hard Day

It's been such a hard day. My family's eating spaghetti and I want to eat some so bad. I'd love just a bite, yet know I can't. I just want some food to eat. My husband doesn't understand and doesn't seem to want to understand. I am scared that on Tuesday the scale's not going to show a lower number.
I've had a few people ask me what my starting weight was and honestly I'm just too ashamed to share it. Maybe one day I will be able to let it go. I'm not sure if it's pride, but it feels a lot like shame.

I have found myself going through all sorts of emotions today. I've shed a lot of tears. I'm just so emotional and it's hard when I feel like I'm in a house without the support that I need and just some understanding.

I'm going to go head out for a nice long walk here in a few minutes, try to clear my brain, get my endorphins up. Just pray for me as I deal with all this. I knew this would come, doesn't make it any easier though.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Day 15: Weigh in

I saw my doctor today, he's really happy with my progress and said my weight loss was right on track. I will admit I'm still a bit disappointed, especially after last weeks 19 lb loss. I lost 4 lbs, so a total of 23 lbs lost in 2 weeks. I have an appointment in the nutrition center on Tuesday, which is 3 weeks since my surgery and I'd love to see another 6 lbs off. I don't know if I'll reach that goal, but I hope so.  Dr. C told me that I can increase either my distance or intensity. I plan to do both. He also said that on Tuesday that my nutrionist will tell me when I can move to phase 3 as far as food intake goes.
Dr. C said he can tell with my stomach that I've lost a good amount, which was encouraging. So I will keep going. I will get a picture taken tomorrow and post it tomorrow night or Saturday.
Well, I'm now off to mop my kitchen and both of the upstairs bathrooms. I know you're all jealous and wish you could have such an exciting life!! :)

Day 14

Tomorrow morning I have my 2nd appointment with my doctor/surgeon. I am very excited and nervous to get on the scale. EG my 6 year old told me that my stomach looks a lot smaller, I can see it, yet it's hard to wrap my brain around that it really IS getting smaller. I'm walking more. Normally I wait for Chad, but today knowing we had a busy evening, I just went on a 2 mile walk and not only was it a great walk, cleared my mind, and honestly it was easy. I will be slowly challenging myself. I am hoping that I can get a Fit bit. It'll be exciting and I think very encouraging to see how many steps, how many miles, etc that I've done, how I'm sleeping, etc.

Tonight our 2nd son, "JT" is playing baseball and had a scrimmage tonight. His team won. I love a scrimmage, before the actual season starts, it helps the coach see their strengths, weaknesses. The kids worked well together, their coach coached! He didn't scream at them, but told them how to fix things and patted their backs on the good. It was nice to see. We're going to be working with JT on things we saw he needs to work on, so hopefully between what we do with him and what he does in practice will get him to a better place. Tomorrow we're starting! When I go for my walk, he's going to join me and he's going to do sprints every other block, to help with his speed.  I'm hoping on Saturday we can go to the baseball fields and practice throwing, catching, and hitting. I know that working with him, will not only benefit him, it'll be good for me as well.

Our new family member, our kitten, Schatze is so sweet. Yesterday she spent a great deal of her day hissing at us and of course just being scared. Her whole little life has been turned upside down. Taken away from her momma, her siblings, her home that she knew. Today, she's been running all over the house, cuddling with the kids willingly, enjoying being outside, doing great eating and using the litter box without any issues and no accidents. That's one of the best things with cats, they house train so easily. What cracks all of us up the most is that our older cat, Whiskers is normally not a fan of other cats, or other animals in general. Yesterday, when Schatze and Whiskers met, Schatze hissed and batted at Whiskers. Whiskers has sniffed at her, but has no growled or done anything aggressive. I honestly don't think she knows what to think or do with Schatze. Today they seemed to get along for the most part. Schatze still hissed at her, but no batting at her and her hissing wasn't as loud or long! I really do hope they will to at least mutually like each other, if not love each other. What I do know is that Schatze seems to love me. When she comes to me, she wants to be comforted and normally falls asleep very quickly. She's such a sweet baby!

Time to try to get to sleep and so I can get a good nights sleep.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Day 13

Today was a good day. I put on a pair of jeans that the last time I wore before my surgery, I couldn't zip up and button and when I could even do that, they were so tight, it was painful. Today, not only did they go on easily, they were really comfortable, and actually slightly big. My guess is that I may be able to wear them for another week or two and then they're just not going to be able to stay up. I don't know if many can understand how exciting it is to think that shortly I'll be wearing smaller sizes, sizes that I have not fit into in years!!!

I go back to see my doctor on Thursday and will be weighed once again and see how much the scale has moved. I do not have a scale here at home, so I have no idea what it's going to say. I have to admit that I'm terrified it won't be at all, since I'm able to eat a little more now. Trying to focus on what I am eating, is much healthier for me, I eat about 1/16th if even that of what I used to eat. I know these fears are just years of fighting weight rearing it's ugly head. I know it's going to keep coming off and I have to trust and remember I'm doing everything I'm supposed to, I hope that as the weight comes off and I see the difference in how my clothes fit, that a lot of these thoughts will go. The mind is one of the biggest things that has to change. The eating, drinking habits are actually  much easier than the thoughts going through my head.

Well, I need to get to sleep. Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend from my hometown, who's bringing our family a new kitten! She's a little calico kitten. The kids are all excited. I'm excited! We've had 3 cats (Whiskers is still alive) but we have never had a kitten, so the kids are thrilled and honestly I think I am just as excited as they are to welcome her into our family, kittens are just fun! She will hands down be a very loved sweet girl. We are debating a name for her between 2, so we've decided to wait until she's home to make the final decision. One is Cali (short for calico) and the other is Schatze ( German for sweetheart). I think most of us are learning towards Schatze, but we'll see what fits her once we meet her and love on her for a while. Who knows maybe a new name will come up and it'll be perfect!

Thursday, May 8, 2014

My Girl.






This beautiful girl is my heart. I look at my other two girls and see so much of her in them,especially the bottom picture with her Daddy. I see my youngest, all over her. I get a small piece of her through E and O and I'm so thankful for that. God has surely blessed me that for 2 of the most precious years of my life, she called ME Mommy. I am thankful to the Lord every single day for every single day of her life. I'm so thankful that her life, although not easy, was full of joy, laughter, and as much love as we could put into her. I'm thankful for all those who crossed her path, who allowed their hearts to be touched by her, I'm so thankful to those who continue to remember her. For those who remember Chad and I and reach out, say prayers, and just love us (near and far). I've felt the Lord walking with me through my grief for the last 14 years and know he is my greatest source of comfort. I can't imagine my life without HIM. He holds both my girl and myself in the palm of his hand.





There are Just Sacred Days....this is mine

May 8, 2000 5 AM EST my world stopped, my heart broke, my soul changed. My little girl went to Heaven, after 14 months of fighting for her life.

There was rarely a time my beautiful girl didn't have a smile on her face. We were so blessed with our beautiful girl. Normally on this day, I like to just stay home, avoid the world, and sleep as much as possible. Unfortunately, I can't do that tomorrow, well at least in the morning, because I have a doctors appointment with my surgeon and then with my nurse. They are calling for storms tomorrow and honestly, I'm good with that. I just like when it rains on this day, it honestly encourages me to be a hermit and not even feel bad that I'm not outside. Hopefully when I get home from the doctors, I can just curl up and be smothered by my babies, let the tears flow, and just be.

It's amazing to be to think that our beautiful girl has been with Jesus for 14 years, right there in his awesome presence. To think that she's able to worship him, right at his feet, to be in his Holy presence. So amazing. In all of my awe, it doesn't make me miss her any less. I am so very thankful, though, that when she left my arms she went straight to our Lord.

I cling to my favorite verse: Isaiah 40:11

He will tend his flock like a shepherd;
he will gather the lambs in his arms;
he will carry them in his bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young.


Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Pictures

                                                                    February 2014
                                                            Aprox. 2 months before surgery

May 6, 2014
One week post surgery
19 lbs lost

First Weigh In!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited! I had my appointment at the nutrition clinic and first thing I do is get on the scale. Normally that act is dreaded, not today! I honestly figured I'd lost at most 10 lbs, but what I found was instead I'd lost 19 lbs!!!! Now in general they do not want me losing that much in a week, because I will not just be losing fat, but will be losing lean mass and too fast can also effect my organs. So the goal is 5-10lbs a week. I obviously would prefer to lose 10 lbs a week. I can not tell you how much of a motivator it is, and I can not wait until I can start going to the gym and working out!!

We talked about my diet and how I will proceed. She told me that by this weekend I will be able to able to move to phase II of my diet, and that will allow pea, bean, and lentil soups, yogurt, milk, and pudding to my diet. When I see my doctor on Thursday, I will know for sure when I can start phase II. I honestly am really looking forward to phase II, since I know it'll give me actual substance and variety!

I need to find a "before" picture at my highest weight and I had Chad take a couple pictures today. I will be probably take a picture once a week, so at the very least I can see my progress! I will post them on here, soon, so you can all see my progress as well! I have not been brave enough, yet to share my starting weight, maybe in a couple more weeks. I am still honestly just so ashamed of where I got. That number is something of the past and one I will NEVER, EVER, EVER see again on the scale. EVER! That in and of itself is exciting.

Negative Nelly

I feel like a complete Negative Nelly, today pretty well sucked. Why, well same reason as before, I'm hungry. Seriously hungry. It's going to get better, I KNOW it's going to get better, I know it will! Please just bare with me as I whine and complain about being hungry. I am looking forward to meeting with my nutrionalist tomorrow morning and getting weighed and seeing where I am there! I am so hopeful that a good amount of lbs are gone. I'm not crazy and thinking 20 lbs or something like that after just 1 week, but maybe 10, which is realistic with such a drastic surgery and lack of food.
I have been reading pages of other that this seems to get better after the 1 week mark, so that gives me hope! I just keep reminding myself that worst case scenario is I have 1 more week of this. I can do this.

So my husband (who I seriously have got to think of a nickname on here for!) returned to work today. He's soon retiring after 20 years in the Army and is clearing. He has maybe a day or two left and he should be all done, a lot of that depends on if the people who need to sign off on his clearing papers are there. Today went pretty good. Thankfully my big boys helped with the little ones as needed with the little ones.

Wednesday we're going to The Soldier's Show. We went to it every time they came to our post we were stationed at in Germany and last year we had a conflict and couldn't go here, so I'm excited we can go this year! It's a singing and dancing show and the whole cast are active duty soldiers. So talented and always a great show! I am looking forward to it, it'll be a great distraction at least for an hour on Wednesday night!!

I am really hopeful that this will get a bit easier. I am truly thankful for all of your prayers and support, it does truly help me.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Sunday, Sunday

I stayed home from church today, and I know I could have used it so much, but was more or less "ordered" not to attend by a well intentioned friend who also attends our church (who said she'd bring my butt home if I walked into our church lol). I did appreciate the extra rest all alone.
A friend from church let me know she was coming, so I had to clean up, even though I shouldn't have been, but since no one was home and no one was going to be home in time to help me, it had to get done. I do not recommend this, but sometimes things have to be done, whether I like it or not.
I have found myself today, to be especially angry in general. I am sure it's from hunger. Sorry to say chicken broth, Jello, and Popsicles, and water do not fill one up. It's absolute torture to smell the meals that get made for dinner.
I am honestly am so looking forward to moving to another diet phase. Clear liquid diet, sucks. Seriously, seriously, seriously SUCKS. I know I am not enjoyable to be around, I don't even like being around me,  so why would anyone else? I have found that at times my brain does not seem to work fully the way it should. I find that at times I'm a bit hazy, and it's from lack of food. I know this is only for a short time and yes, I do know I did this to myself and made this decision and I do not regret it. It still doesn't make me less hungry.
I read a fb page on weight loss surgery and it excites me to see how much others have lost and it excites me to see how much weight I'll have off of me in 3 months. It should be a good amount of weight and many clothes sizes I have dropped. I need to get a picture of myself up, so I can show the progress I am making. I am not going to show my starting weight, for a while.


Sunday, May 4, 2014

Day 5 ...Surviving

Lets just start off being really, real. This is really, really hard. Really hard. I KNEW it was going to be hard, but until you have gone through it, you can't truly understand it. I KNOW it will be worth it. I'm on a clear liquid diet right now, which consists of a protein drink that's 20 oz and so it takes me all day to drink, I add a packet of whey protein to it,to give me a little more protein. I drink water, at least 64 oz., drink/eat chicken broth. Let me just say, it sucks. I'm hungry, pretty well all the time. I pray honestly that God will continue to give me strength and I know he'll make it easier, day by day.

Tonight the hubby and I went on a walk. We started off going for one block, and after that I felt like I could go further. We did 2 blocks and by then I was pretty sore. It felt good though, to go further than I thought I could and to stop when I knew I needed to. Tomorrow the goal is the same 2 blocks and hopefully in a couple of days I can add an additional block.
Tomorrow, I'm staying home from church, while the rest of the family goes. JT was invited to a swimming birthday party, so hubby is going to take him and the rest of the kids to swim as well.
Today I decided not to take any pain medication. It wasn't too bad. I still hurt, mostly where my drain was, but at this point, it's no worse than healing from a c-section.

I really don't want this blog to be all about my surgery and recovery, but right now, that's what it is. As I get to be more mobile, and not so focused on being hungry all the time, I will branch out!
Right now, I feel like I'm just surviving.  I am hoping tomorrow will be a bit easier, that my stomach will not constantly be growling. I'm not going to hold my breath, although hopefully since I got some sugar free popcicles and jello that will help.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Day 4

It's almost 3 AM, I can not sleep and I didn't really nap, so not sure what's going on. I had a harder day emotionally, just did not feel supported by my family, although I needed them. I was in a good deal of pain for most of the day and evening, mostly from where the drain was removed from my stomach on Thursday. I walked more than any other day so far. Trying not to go overboard, and not doing enough.
I drank all my water plus some. I also had my protein drink and added whey protein powder so I had an extra 6 grams of protein on top of the 40 that's in my drink as it is.
I am finding that for the most part it's not as hard as I thought it'd be, although about 10 or 11 tonight, I was really, sincerely hungry, but knew I couldn't eat anything, so I just kept drinking my little 1 oz medicine cup of water. There's nothing else I can do. I just have to suck it up, I did not go through this drastic surgery to screw things up and give in.
Speaking of food though, have any of you ever paid attention to how many food commercials there are on tv? Seriously, they are constant. It's annoying. I also know I really have to change my way of thinking. So much of my thinking has gone back to food. I have to break that. It's just facts here. I did not get this fat, because I didn't think about food or eat a lot of crap. I ate a lot of good stuff, too, but it can not be the center of my thoughts any more. It's hard to even admit that, but if I'm going to be real and truly change my life, I have to change my focus.
Starting tomorrow morning, I want to go back to doing something I used to do and it truly helped my day. Reading my bible, reading God's word. Even if the kids are up and going, I can spend 5 or 10 minutes and just read and spend time in prayer before my feet hit the floor to start the day. I want the Lord to be my focus for each day and let him guide me. I want my thoughts to go to the Lord and not food.
I hope tomorrow I can walk a little further, be more open with my family on what I need, and most of all have my time with the Lord.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

There's No Place Like Home Sweet Home

Surgery went great. Tuesday, most of the day is a blur. I remember my parents bringing the kids up for about 5 minutes to visit before taking EG to ballet. Hubby was at the hospital pretty well all day and into the early evening. Not the funnest way to spend your birthday, but he did finally head home, enjoyed a good dinner and his birthday cheese cake, that our oldest son made for him.
I had to be at the hospital on Tuesday at 9:30, my doctor was doing the first surgery of the day already, I was wheeled in around 10:30 or 11 I believe, before I even left the room I got changed and had my iv placed in, they had given me meds, I remember that as we were going down the hall we stopped at the waiting room and I gave my husband a kiss and the nurses talking to me, and that's the last I remember. After surgery I went into recovery for an hour, and then from there I went into my room that I'd stay in until today's discharge. I have no memory of recovery, and honestly no idea what time I actually came to. I know I was back in my room by 4, because of when my parents came up with the kids. I had the worst case of "cotton mouth" aka dry mouth. I couldn't drink anything that first day. Thankfully I was able to swab my mouth out with water and just spit it out. I also couldn't get out of my bed that first day either.
When they had told me I wouldn't walk until the day after my surgery, I thought they were crazy. I have had 6 c-sections, but they were 100000% right! I not only had no desire to walk that first day, I had no energy to. I forgot how exhausting it is to be completely put under and that your body just needs that rest!
My recovery nurses were awesome! I had the same nurses the whole time I was in the hospital and can not say enough about how wonderful they were.
Wednesday, I was able to get up and walk, then around 11 I had my barium swallow, which was to check and make sure I had no leaks in my much smaller stomach. While I was having my swallow study, one of the two visiting surgeons one from Ft. Carson and one from Ft. Lewis, they observed. My doctor has quite a few years of experience, but they have even more experience. The surgeon from Carson was there during my swallow study said that my sleeve surgery went beautifully and that I have the smallest and tightest sleeve they have done so far, and that my weight loss will be quite great and will be more than Dr. C had initially anticipated.
They were all very happy with how the surgery went and how I was recovering.
I did a fair amount of walking on Wednesday,with lots of naps, drinking my water, sipping my broth, and more napping. My parents headed home early evening while the hubs took the kids to the last night of AWANA which is a fun Carnival that the youth group puts on. After AWANA he brought the kids up to see me. They stayed about 20 or so minutes, then I was able to walk them to the elevator and kiss everyone goodbye/good night.
Wednesday night I fell asleep around midnight, after my nurse came in and gave me a dose of my medicine and then I slept for the next 7 hours, uninterrupted! Do you know how good that feels? 7 hours straight! I am not sure the last time I slept like that! I woke up and felt AMAZING!! My doctor came up and looked at my incisions, talked to me about how I was feeling and doing and told me I was going to be able to go home today! He came back up after lunch and said I was good to go! I had 2 friends who work at the hospital come to visit me. One of the friends is actually part of the team for this surgery, she was great at encouraging me and reminding me to take it easy (no church on Sunday! LOL) and just wants me to take care of myself!! The other friend, is going to have the same surgery. She is having some knee problems, so until that is resolved she can't have the Sleeve surgery done, (please pray for her to get answers on her knee) and I was able to tell her about my experience. I am praying she's able to have the surgery soon, so that we can do this journey together.
I got home today, was greeted by 4 out of the 5 kiddos with Miss O napping. I started to dose on the couch, since I didn't sleep much at the hospital today, once I woke up at 7. Once "O" was up, JT took her straight downstairs and they all left for the grocery store, and I slept the whole time. I woke up 3 hours later when the husband called to let me know they were finally in line at the store.
I was able to eat some broth this evening, continue with my water, and took a shower for the first time since Monday evening. Let me just say I felt like a new woman after that shower! Hubby helped me change my dressing, from where they took the drain out of my stomach this morning, and I was able to climb into bed and get all nice and comfy.
So far I have had my stomach growling, but the broth took care of that. Now the hard work begins. Now I have the tool, my stomach is much,much smaller, I have a support group. Now it's time to start. This week and next week I am on a full clear fluid diet. The next stage will be a liquid diet, but not clear, so I'll have a few more options.
I am on pain meds. I can no longer ever again in my life take NSAIDS. I am limited, to Tylenol and a few other things. I am working to stay on top of my pain. I am very thankful that my husband is here to help me with everything I have to keep track of.
I do not want this blog to be all about my weight loss surgery and weight loss. I want this to be mostly about where the Lord is taking me in my life. I want it to be focused on him. I do know though, that he's walked with me through this process. He's the one I have turned to, I've prayed, and looked to him for guidance. I know that the one who will help me the most, is the Lord.
Next Thursday,we're coming up on the 14th year since our oldest went home to the Lord. I will just say it now, I need your prayers that day for sure, and I'll need them the next 6 days leading up. I know I need his strength, he knows how hard that day is for me and that the days leading up I'm often pretty messed up and just wading through the days. I continue to seek his peace and his comfort. He knows my grief, he knows my heart. He knows how scattered I am and how all over the place I am.
I hope you will all be patient with me, as I share my heart, just how scattered my brain really is, and this new life changing journey I am on with my weight loss.
I have had blogs over the years, but have never until this one shared it with friends and family. It's honestly very big for me. I have often been one not afraid to share my feelings or thoughts, but to open myself up so completely, that's a different story. I rarely let people in and let them see the complete me. So here we go, some may like or love me more and some may like me less and walk away. I am okay with those who need to walk away. I want those who truly WANT to be in my  life, here and those who don't, to leave. I don't need or want fake. I want honest. I want real.

So with all this scattered mess tonight, I'm off to get some sleep.

God Bless
Christy

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Excited!!

In a few hours I will be having a life changing surgery. I know not everyone does or will support it, but honestly that's their own issue. After 5 years of research, talking to numerous people who have had various types of it done, and working one on one with a doctor to prepare me for this, I will be having Gastric Bypass Sleeve surgery. The sleeve is far less invasive than the RNY that so many are familiar with. The biggest difference is that with the sleeve your intestines are left alone vs the rny they are cut and rerouted. The biggest advantage to that is that I will be able to continue to absorb nutrients without having to take all types of vitamins for the rest of my life.
I am not nervous at all, but  just so excited. I have peace and know that this will be the TOOL that I have needed for so long to get HEALTHY, for myself and for my family. The thought of running and playing with my kids, I have no words to describe how much that excites me. To know that we can go on family bike rides, walks, play sports together. Beyond words. In the whole vanity side, the thought of buying clothes in the normal area and not the plus size, makes me want to cry with tears of joy.
I am looking forward to being able to walk up a flight up stairs without heavy breathing, being healthy, and expanding my life in so many ways.
I covet your prayers. If you are not supportive, I just ask that you say nothing and just instead pray for my surgeon, for me as I make major life changes.

With that, I'm off to get a few hours of sleep before I have to be up. I have a couple loads of laundry I want to get done in the morning.

I'm excited to see where the Lord takes me from here!!

Christy

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Introduction

Here's an introduction of who I am.
For right now, I'm only going to be sharing my name, the rest of my family will have nicknames or initials, until I decide otherwise.
So, I'm Christy!  The most important thing to know about me is I'm a Child of God. I serve one Lord and that's the Lord Jesus Christ. I'm a sinner, fall on my face quite often, make mistakes constantly, but am forgiven and saved by grace and grace alone, through the blood of Jesus Christ.
I'm a wife of at this point 17 plus years. My husband is about to retire from the US Army after serving proudly for the last 20 plus years. We've been blessed to have been stationed in Kansas (3 times), Virginia, and Germany twice. Our hands down favorite duty station was our last duty station in Germany. I miss it every single day and will always call it "home". God blessed us though, at every single duty station.
I am a mother to 6 amazing children (yes they are all my husband's and mine and yes I gave birth to all of them). Our oldest is with the Lord. She was called home when she was 2 years old 1 month and 8 days after a 14 month battle against AML leukemia. Not a day goes by that we do not miss her, but oh how thankful I am to know she is safe in the arms of Jesus. Our other 5 range in the ages of (Mr) JK is 13, (Mr)JT is 10, Miss EG is 6,(Mr) NT is 3 soon to be 4, and Miss OJ is 2. I home school our children, and feel so blessed to be able to do so.
I'm a daughter, sister, and blessed to have amazing friends.

I want to share my walk with the Lord, my journey to being healthy (which in only 2 days will get a big jump start as I'm having the Gastric Sleeve done). Gastric bypass, by some opinions think it's the easy way out. Surgery is never the "easy" way out. Facts are though, that some of us need extra help to get healthy. It's only a tool and if I do not exercise and eat properly, it will do me no good. Currently I need to lose at least 120 to 140 lbs to be at a healthy weight. I look so forward to being able to run and play with my kids without huffing and puffing. Goodness, I look forward to being up to just go up and down stairs without huffing and puffing! I have learned a great deal in the last 5 years of my research. I've been blessed to have friends who have shared the nitty gritty with me with their own experiences. What was hard at the beginning, before and after surgery, and what it's taken for them to maintain a healthy weight. I am so thankful for honesty. The good of this surgery is pretty obvious, the ugly is what I wanted to know and thankfully friends have shared.
If you do not support my decision, think I'm taking the "easy" way out, that's fine, but keep your opinions to yourself, please.

I do love comments and hope you'll leave them when I do post. I hope you'll pray for me and my family. I hope you'll allow me to pray for you and yours as well. Please be respectful when commenting. IF you do not have a relationship with Christ and would like to know more, please leave a comment with contact information and I'd love to speak with you.

So here I am seeing Where the Lord Will Take Me.