Trusting God

Trusting God's plan for our lives is not always easy, not always natural, yet it's what we are called to do. No matter where we are in life, we are always called to follow the Lord.

I was driving home last night from bible study thinking about my oldest son. He's 15, a Sophomore, and it hit me.like a brick that we have only 3 more Thanksgivings and Christmas's left with him being home. I know he may come home after he graduates, but it will be in a different circumstance. I think of how when my husband and I got married, we spent our first Christmas as a married couple up with his family in Ohio, but we have never spent it with them since, and this is our 19th Christmas as a married couple. We were with them until 2 days before Christmas 13 years ago, but my uncle passed away and so we drive home to Kansas for his funeral and spent Christmas with my side of the family. I realize that could be out lot when our kids grow up. I pray we have a different relationship and that our kids will want to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with us, and when they get married, I hope we can get every other year at least or I'd they marry local girls, part of the day, but the fact is they will have to decide that. I have to trust God that we are raising our kids to value us as their parents and siblings. I can't be living in dread, fear, or sadness.
So from here on out I am trusting the Lord with my kids, our time we have, our health, all of it. He wants what's best for us, even if we don't always see that it's best for us, immediately.
I am so grateful that we serve a God who loves us, who desires the best for us, and most of all who brings all we walk through in this life back to His Glory.

Lonely

What happens when your heart aches, you learn all the things you believe about yourself others believe as well, and you just can't do it anymore? You try to run, but don't make it far. You cry out to Jesus, and hear silence.
Sure there are a few who reach out, but there are no words you can give them to make them feel better about your situation.
I am at a crossroads right now. I am reading my bible, doing my bible study, I see truths from God, but have no idea how to apply them to my life.
Reality is no one really cares, sure they say they do, but when it comes down to it, you are alone trying to figure things out.
I long to feel true love. I long for closeness with God. I am a hypocrite. I lead a bible study, I am doing the work, but struggle to see how God can work this for His glory and pull me out of the depths of sadness I am in.