About Me

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I'm Christy. Christian first, wife to a Retired Soldier, mom to 7, our oldest is with the Lord after he called her home against a battle against AML leukemia. I am a Homeschooling/SAHM/Housewife. The biggest blessing in my life is serving The Lord, Jesus Christ. I am a sinner, fail often, but am forgiven.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

So close to another goal!

I stepped on the scale and found 10 lbs gone!! I'm now at 78 lbs gone, total!! I can't believe that as of yesterday I'm officially 4 months post-op and have lost nearly 80 lbs! It's hard to believe that I could possibly lose 100 lbs in the next couple of months! It's just amazing to me. I even have been slacking on walking and working out in general, because it's been so hot (high 90's and 100's and high humidity) the last couple of weeks. I still have to pinch myself, that I've really lost this much weight. I am hoping that by next week, I'll have at least, if not over 80 lbs lost. I feel like I'm doing everything right, and just need to keep things up, keep walking (we went for a walk last night and it felt good and thankfully had cooled off a bit). We bought me some 5 lb hand weights, so I can be firming my arms aka bat wings up. I actually am developing some muscle in my arms. One place I have most definitely noticed smaller is my arms, especially my upper arms. I've hated my arms for years, and although I'd wear sleeveless shirts, would feel so self-conscience in them, felt so fat and gross. I don't feel like that anymore. I feel comfortable with them for the first time in I'd say at least 8 or more years! I've also noticed my chest is smaller and I never thought I'd see the day!! I think I may be the most excited over that!! :) For those who know me, know that's a really big deal! LOL

Monday, August 25, 2014

Broken

What led to my weight gain. My heart broke 14 years ago. I held my daughter as she took her last breath, was released from her pain, and left my arms for Jesus'. It broke me, devastated me. The person I was,died with her. I was filled with a despair that I had never felt or could have understood. I found out 8 days later that I was pregnant. Grief overtook me. I just wanted my little girl back. Two years was not enough. I did not understand why the Lord will give me another baby, when he just took the one I longed to hold back in my arms.  Once her funeral was over and we returned to Virgina, I could not stand to stay awake during the day. The apartment was so quiet and it was a constant reminder that she was gone. I found myself staying up all night long. I'd normally be online, chatting on aol with other mom's who had also lost their child from cancer. I found 2 of my best friends in that group and we'd chat for hours on end. They understood better than anyone else I knew. One of them was also pregnant, the other ended up pregnant a few months later, only to sadly lose her baby. To this day, I don't know what I'd do without T & K,and forever thankful for the DaybyDay group and the wonderful woman who created it.
So I was pregnant, sleeping most of the day, up half the night online, laying on the couch watching tv, until I could finally drift off to sleep. When my husband would get up to go to PT, I'd wake up normally as he shut the door and I'd go sleep for as long as possible in bed. I kept her door closed most of the time, I couldn't bare to look at her room, her empty bed, her unplayed with toys, her clothes hanging in her closet.
I was so sick through half the pregnancy I actually lost 20 lbs, it finally stopped half way through the pregnancy and I gained the 20 back. Once he was here, I gained a few pounds,but got most of it off. Then I got pregnant with JT. I gained about 20 lbs, then after he was born, 5months later my husband deployed and I was still in pretty deep grief and found comfort in food. When JT was about 18 months old, I joined Weight Watchers. I lost 25 lbs,then we moved to Germany. I quickly regained that 25 and some. I fought the pounds, could lose 5 to 10, only to regain, plus.
Through it all, I found comfort in 2 things....Jesus and food. Food was an instant gratification. I obviously found comfort and went looking for it more often in food than I did in the Lord.
Anger took over a huge part of my heart, and it's something I constantly fight and often lose that battle.
I emotionally have been pretty turned off for years. I used to cry at the drop of a hat,but the last 4 years that rarely happens. Now it's rare for me to cry and if I do, it's because I've been so hurt or I'm so touched or moved.

I have felt worthless, defeated, fat and ugly for years. I still feel like that. I'm NOT looking for self-pity, I'm just being honest. I do not feel worthy of love. I feel ugly and fat. I've lost almost or maybe at 70 lbs now and I still feel fat and ugly. I still have a lot of weight to lose (about 50) to be at my goal weight that I've set for myself. I honestly don't know if I will ever not feel fat and ugly. Once upon a time, I just to be light hearted, full of laughter, fairly conceited, and "knew" I was pretty. I know I need to see a counselor to help me deal with all these feelings and work through them.

So many things led to my weight gain, most of all my weakness. My lack of turning to God over food, for comfort and healing. I found myself falling into that today. The difference is, that I can't over eat, if I do, I get severely sick. I have a lot of head and heart things I need to change, to work on.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

More than a weight loss blog

When I started this blog, I wanted it to be about all faucets of my life, not just my journey to weight loss through my Gastric Vertical Sleeve surgery. I've blogged a couple times about other things, but 99% of this has been about my weight loss. That ends today! I will still blog about my triumphs with weight loss, my struggles, etc but that's not all I am going to be writing about from here on out. Homeschooling is a huge part of our life. In the past I have not blogged a lot about our schooling, but here's the reality, for us homeschooling is more than just the traditional thought of school, it's in everything we do in every part of our day. My children are constantly learning, whether they are cooking breakfast, making a dessert, outside playing with each other. We have a lot of natural learning times, playing with blocks and Lego's, jumping on the trampoline, football, ballet, tap dance, dancing in the living room. We do have structured learning time though.

Monday we began our official school year. This is our 9th year homeschool. J.K was 5 years old when I began homeschooling him. He was a natural reader devoured every book placed in front of him. From the get go he was not a fan of math. He could do it and did do it, but he did not enjoy it at all. We tried multiple ones, but none seemed to just draw him in. The first couple of years we did school during JT's nap time. School normally took us 30 minutes to 1 hour during those days, so we'd still have time to cuddle, some days he took a nap himself during the first year, play blocks, etc. We had a lot of outside play time during those days, at the park that was right across the parking lot.

JT did not enjoy school. Reading did not come naturally to him. We spent most days our first 4 years both in tears, he was frustrated that he couldn't read, and I felt like a complete and utter failure. The first day of 4th grade started off with more tears, then something amazing happened on the 2nd day,reading clicked for him. It was amazing. He went from a boy who needed me to help him sound out every single little word to a boy who was needing no help, who no longer had to sound words out, but the letters had formed words that he just knew! It's been an amazing transformation to watch him struggle so much to loving to read and enjoying school. He still takes much longer than I wish he would, but a lot of that is called poor time management on  his part, and he is the one who suffers, since he's still not finished with his school work today, but is at football practice, so when he gets home at 8, he will get to shower, eat dinner, and then finish his school work.

I sit with E, she's only in 2nd grade and honestly, I like our time to just cuddle on the couch, as I read to her, as she does her math, as we make up sentences for her to write, as she shares what the bible passage we just read means. I love that time. She normally is able to finish school in about 1 to 1 1/2 hours. I know that as the school year progresses, she will read more on her own, but I'm thankful for this time together.

While we do school, the youngest two are normally playing together. Daddy is often home in the mornings, so he helps keep them distracted. I do a little preschool work with N. It's not a lot of sit down things, although he is working on learning to write his name, write numbers, and the alphabet. He knows how to count, his colors, shapes, etc He spends a lot of time playing with lego's, building and taking apart. O spends a lot of time dancing and singing for us! Some times she is an absolute distraction! She's so cute though. I need to get more finger paint, find our tub of play doh, pull out the crayons and let them be productive in those fun ways, so that they're less of a distraction.

Our sweet baby girl, O, has decided that she no longer wants to sleep in a crib. I know she's 2 1/2,but well she's always been so awesome sleeping in her crib, until this week, when she started crawling out of it! She normally will crawl into E's bed (they share a room). So we're going to take the crib down, and let her move into the trundle/mattress under E's bed. They'll have more play room in there with the crib gone, and I can just push O's bed back under the daybed in the morning. She's growing up far too quickly for my liking.

I feel like life is going to be very busy this year, but our focus will continue to be centered on the Lord. Christ is the center, and if he's not, we're going to fall apart. I am thankful we have Christ to be centered all, because no matter how many activities we are involved in, what's truly important comes back to Him and only Him.
With that, I'm signing off. I have a couple more pages to grade, cuddles to be had, and an evening to enjoy!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

So Close to 70

I'm just 2 lbs away from reaching my 70 lb goal before hitting the 4 month mark since having my surgery! I had an appointment today with my surgeon, he's thrilled with my progress and order a couple more labs. My iron was dangerously low last month, so I had those redone. I've been taking liquid iron, which btw if you've never had the pleasure, is one of the most disgusting things you'll ever taste. I did find that Orange Juice covers the awful taste, so I take 2 tablespoons of iron with about 1 oz of OJ. I can say that having low iron has really taken a big toll on me energy wise, it's called I have none. I am hoping that my iron levels will improve and I will start feeling more energized again. I continue to walk, and weight resistance.
A couple nights ago I was looking at the weight loss surgery page that I follow on FB and a woman who had her surgery after me has reached 100 lbs weight loss. I initially felt down on myself, after finding out she was over 150 lbs larger than I was to begin with, I was able to remind myself, that even if we had started at the same weight and height, we all lose differently, and I've been encouraged by everyone that I'm losing it at a nice and steady speed, and there's never been a time in my life that I have lost 68 lbs in 16 weeks! That's huge!
Today, I saw a friend who I hadn't seen all summer, when I took my oldest to ballet. Her reaction was so encouraging to me. She said I looked like a different person. I don't always see the transformation when I look in the mirror. I see a difference, but not quite the drastic one that others see. She said I look even smaller in person than the pictures I post.
I am so thankful that the Lord provided me with this surgery. It's saved and is saving my life. I know so many people think I took the "easy" way out in losing weight. You know what, I do not care what they think. This surgery was only a tool, if I don't eat correctly, if I don't work out, then the tool of surgery will fail.
No one has said anything negative to me about WLS, but if they did, they'd get educated quickly, and if they were rude and nasty,they'd be out of my life. We all have a journey to health. For me a part of that journey has been Gastric Vertical Sleeve surgery, and I'm forever grateful and happy I chose this route. I did nearly 5 years of research. I spent a great deal of time praying, seeking words of wisdom who had their own WLS. I tried time and time again to do it without surgery, only to fail and gain more weight than I had lost. I have no regrets. If you are looking at having WLS, please feel free to contact me. I'll share very honestly my personal experience. I am only almost 4 months out, but can share pre surgery what I had to do and what it's been like since having surgery.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Marriage taken lightly

In my years of research of Gastric Bypass surgeries. There are of course the many benefits to these surgeries: weight loss, lower chances of diseases from diabetes, heart issues, cancers, etc.
Many people after weight loss can go a little "crazy", so to speak. Many will begin to drink heavily and/or very often, many decide that they don't need their spouse and divorce. Some spouses feel threatened from their partners new body and outlook on life.

What bothers me so much though, is that on the various support pages I'm on, as I see hurting people, I see others encouraging them to walk away from their promise to God and their spouse. People do not take their vows seriously and as soon as the roads hands them some bumps or curves, they are ready to walk away. There seems to be very few of us who encourage them to try to work on their marriage. There's no forgiveness, there's no seeking guidance to work it out, it's just "walk away and be happy". Happiness is a fleeting emotion. What  makes you happy today, may cause you sorrow tomorrow. Marriage is sacred and it's not just between the man and woman, it's between God, as well. Divorce is rarely the answer. It makes me sad and hurts my heart and honestly at times just makes me angry. Angry to see how marriage is so often just taken so lightly by people. I also get angry when people assume that someone's marriage is going to be in danger because of this surgery and life style change.

Please join me in praying for marriage in general and for those who take marriage AND divorce so lightly.
Pray that they will instead of seeking advice from people on facebook, they will seek the Lord instead.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Goal Met!!

I set a goal of having 60 lbs gone by the end of July and I made it!! Today I got on the scale and found that I lost another 3 lbs from last Thursday, and I have now lost 61 pounds!! I have a goal of 10 more lbs this month. I'd love to see 70 lbs gone. To see my clothes getting smaller. I have noticed my waist is getting smaller, my legs are thinning down, my face has definitely gotten slimmer, and in general I'm getting toner. I still have a long ways to go,  but I will reach my goal. I am hoping that with in the next 18 months I will reach my goal weight, I will be in better shape and health than I've been since I was a teenager. I am not saying I'll be in the same shape, and will not be the same weight as when I was a teen, just that I'll be in the best shape and health since then! I'm 37 years old and have had 6 babies, my hips will NEVER return to where they were at 18, and I'm good with that. I have beautiful babies who changed my body, I just want to be able to keep up with those kiddo's, go biking with them, play ball with them and not be exhausted after a few minutes!

I am so thankful that I decided on having the Sleeve also knows as a GVS (Gastric Vertical Sleeve), for me and my health, this was the best decision I have ever made. My doctor called me yesterday and gave me the results of all my 3 month lab results. Everything looked good, except my iron was low. I am now on liquid iron, I picked up my prescription today. I have to admit, I'm kind of dreading it. I was told to mix it with juice, I don't drink juice, because it has so  much sugar in it, but I'm going to have to drink a little tiny bit of it, so i can get the iron down! Thankfully I just have to start with 1 tsp and then after a week, I'll move up to 2 tsp twice a day!

That's it for now. I'm not sure when I go back to see my doctor, probably in September. I do go to see my nutritionist in August, so I'll be weighed again then, so hopefully I'll see at least 5 more pounds gone by then. I continue to eat right and exercise, and know I'm getting stronger and smaller!!! I'll take new pictures next month.