Pride and Humbleness

I don't know why blogging is such a come and go thing for me. I will say I have quite a few unpublished posts, mostly because after I wrote them, I found that it was just too private, too painful, or still just working through all my feelings to put it out there.
I am quite a private person in many areas of my life. I am also quite open in my opinions, and truly what you see is what you get. If I will write it online, I'll say it to your face in person. With that though, there are subjects that I don't share much about. My kids, there are things I will share, but there are things that outside of my parents or best friends, I will not share about.
I don't share about finances. I hope it's not pride, I just don't feel most the time it's appropriate to share about finances. I've shared again with those closest to me, but I rarely give in-depth details, honestly I can only recall 3 times that I've shared with my best friends great details. I guess I've watched those who struggle go on about it and those who are more well to do talk about it to a point that it feels like bragging, so I just don't share. I rarely, if ever talk about disagreements I have with my friends.

So with that, I'm sharing something that's more private. The last 6 weeks I've not spoken beyond a few texts and FB messages with one of my best friends. We had a difference of opinion on a subject, misunderstandings abounded on both sides. It's been awful. My heart broke, and every day the emptiness I can't explain. I can't explain how many times I wanted to call her, and stopped myself, but that's changing this week. I miss my friend, who I love and her family. I refuse to let pride and hurt ruin our friendship. I have a small circle of close friends and to have this one so fragile, someone I often talk to multiple times a weeks, sometimes multiple times a day, who's been a life line for me for the last 17 years, who prays for and with me, that's not a friendship I can just let go of.
I have let other friendships go over the years, and for the most part, I believe they had ran their course, and they ended for clear reasons, sometimes I ended the relationship and other times the other person did. There are some friendships that are meant to last and fight for though.