Friendships

I wrote this in June and forgot to
June 22
Yesterday I came across a Meme and it really struck me with reality and heart ache.
I had been with two friends, two friends I consider some of my closest friends here and found them talking about me, giving each other "looks" between, which said no doubt they've been talking about me, before this. It honestly threw me a little, right there, just inches from me little remarks and looks that were like a knife into my heart.
I have two best (girl) friends and neither live here, and both I trust, and although we won't always agree on everything, I know they're true friends, they come TO me and to my face (or phone or text) and will tell me the TRUTH. They don't stand behind my back and make little snide comments or looks. It got me to thinking thought of the fact that I've gossiped about friends, as well. I've gossiped with those same two friends about the other and the conviction HURT, but it doesn't take away the truth and it's been a harsh reminder that if I don't want others talking about me, then I best be above reproach myself.
So when with a friend yesterday and I saw talk going that way, leading to gossip, I redirected. I have hard habits that must be broken, and this is most definitely one that is ending now.
My heart still hurts, trust has been broken. I guess I'm just still in shock that it happened right there nearly in front of me (although it was literally behind my back and I just turned and saw it and heard the comments.