It's been such a hard day. My family's eating spaghetti and I want to eat some so bad. I'd love just a bite, yet know I can't. I just want some food to eat. My husband doesn't understand and doesn't seem to want to understand. I am scared that on Tuesday the scale's not going to show a lower number.
I've had a few people ask me what my starting weight was and honestly I'm just too ashamed to share it. Maybe one day I will be able to let it go. I'm not sure if it's pride, but it feels a lot like shame.
I have found myself going through all sorts of emotions today. I've shed a lot of tears. I'm just so emotional and it's hard when I feel like I'm in a house without the support that I need and just some understanding.
I'm going to go head out for a nice long walk here in a few minutes, try to clear my brain, get my endorphins up. Just pray for me as I deal with all this. I knew this would come, doesn't make it any easier though.
1 comment:
Hi sweet lady,
First of all let me say, I love you and your fighter spirit! I also want to say, though that starting weight number may now feel like shame it will one day be your victory. It will be a number through perseverance, hard work, faith and determination a giant that you have slayed. It will also be an encouragement to others who find themselves in the very place you once were. This will become just another dimension to you're already amazing testimony for the Lord. Big hugs...
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